Rescue Me
by bigtimerushx31
Summary: We all try to find a way to be rescued. Rescued from our pain. Rescued from our struggles. Even rescued from another person. But maybe isn't what we need. Or is it? Read rescue me & find out.
1. Meet Kendall Schmidt

**Chapter One: Rescue Me.**

"Be who you want to be; never let anyone try to tell them who you are, because they can't. Only you can." 

Kendall twisted the door knob, sliding the bathroom door open, he gently slinked inside. "Where do you think you're going?" He father screamed, and Kendall shook his head, slamming the door shut. Kendall didn't listen; he shut the door, locked. Hearing his father's screams, he quickly looked at a drawer. The bathroom was a regular, a normal bathroom with a sink and a counter underneath, but this was different. He opened the drawer, pulling out a razor. He took a deep breath before pushing the razor onto his wrist, he sighed of relief, feeling the blood trickle down his arm he quickly grabbed a towel, cleaning up the mess he made. I know what you're thinking, why would Kendall: Kendall Schmidt cut? One word: abuse. It's not physical, but verbal and emotional. It happened when he was thirteen, when his mother had gotten arrested for public intoxication the cause? Drug use. She got sent to rehab, and never came back. She left the rehab clinic, but never showed up.

Kendall became depressed, his father soon blamed his for everything, and Kendall put pressure on his wrist, flinching at the thought. The remembrance of his father screaming, calling him useless, nothing but a wimp. He looked around, letting a tear drop down his face as his father continued screaming. "Get out of here so I can show you what of useless jackass you are. What are you doing? Smoking a joint like your mother? What a surprise." He said, letting the harsh words enter his word. "Maybe mom started that joint because she got sick of listening to your bullshit!" He loudly screamed and his father got angered. Kendall had never spoken to him before, he kicked the door, knocking it off its hinges, looked at Kendall. "_What did you say to me?_" He angrily snapped, not even noticing the towel gripped on his son's arms. The man pulled man Kendall close, spitting in his face as his fingernails began digging into his skin. "Stop—""No answer me, _boy."_ "I'm not a boy, I'm eighteen." "Answer the damn question!" He screamed, pushing his son. Kendall's arms flew, grabbing onto the shower curtain, but it simply fell with him as he landed, on his stomach, inside the dirty bathtub. "Huh boy?" He screamed, pulling Kendall by his hair, forcing him to look at him.

Hearing Kendall moan, he didn't even bother to stop. "Dad—""—No dad shit," He said, throwing him onto the ground. Kendall's head smashed against the glazed glass tub. His head gently smashing against it. Blood trickling down the side of his head, the temple area to be specific. "Answer me!" His father ordered. Kendall weakly got up, barely managing to look up at his father. Blood was smeared around the tub, Kendall looked at his wrist had stopped bleeding moments ago; he felt his head, blood smearing in his palm. "_ANSWER ME!"_ His father repeated, he repeated the question so much he forgot what the question was. "I-I don't k-k-k-know." He stammered, his father aggressively picking him up by his collar. "That's what I thought." He said, throwing him against the wall. His father looked to Kendall; disgust was the only Kendall could see in his eyes. His father looked at Kendall, and began walking out the bathroom. Pushing the fallen down door out of his way as he made his way to his car. Kendall sighed; he weakly stood up, looking in the mirror. His jaw had been bruised from the impact from being thrown in the bathtub. He moaned in pain as he felt his leg. A cut had been bleeding, hence the blood that was staining his newest pair of skinny jeans. He walked to the kitchen, grabbing a icepack, putting it against his chin.

The cooling of the icepack felt good on his hot moist skin. He grabbed a cloth, gently wiping some of the leftover blood that was in his mouth; the smell was horrible, almost making him want to gag. He shook it off, getting a chill. He heard his father's car engine fire up, and Kendall knew _exactly_ where he was going. To the bar, whenever he did something he wasn't proud of, he went to the bar. Drinking, drinking, and drinking, until he got wasted. Then he'd come home around six o'clock in the morning and go to sleep. He'd sleep throughout the day, and the whole thing would repeat.

He quickly rubbed his hands through his hair, quickly throwing his foot on to the top of the toilet, rolling up his pant sleeve. The blood hadn't stopped, not one bit. He grabbed a roll of tissue, bundling a bit of it, pressing it against the wound. He took a deep breath, and he quickly turned on the faucet, letting the water run. He took a deep breath, quickly removing his clothes, he stepped into the bathtub, quickly fixing the torn and ripped shower curtain, he raised it up, making it look as normal as it could be—thought it looked like a mess. The bathroom was a mess; his whole world was a mess. Changing the faucet from bath mode to show mode, he left the water pour onto his body. The burns and cuts stinging as the room temperature water ran on his body. He—again—rubbed his hands through his drenched hair; he quietly began washing it with whatever shampoo they had. Surprisingly—they had some. It was always unlikely whenever they had something normal families usually had. Simple thing like food and soap and clothes became a hassle for him. He worked double shifts as his job as a mechanic, and that didn't even satisfy his family.

His mother was usually cooped up in her bedroom. She rarely came out of her bedroom. She would usually come out once a day; sometimes she'd stay in there for weeks. Kendall sighed, letting his thoughts overwhelm his as the water cleansed his sore and aching body. Once he was done, he quickly got dressed, jeans and a sweatshirt. He looked around his living room, papers and garbage cluttered the once neat and homey house. He quickly began cleaning things, making things as clean as a man with bruises and cuts running along every inch of body could do. He knew his father would complain, over something as simple as dirty dishes. He was sick of it, tired of this life. He wanted to leave, though the only way he could would be to go to college. Knowing his father would never allow it. His father depended on Kendall for most of the bills. All the man did was drink and beat his kids—well in Kendall's point of view. He was almost done; he quickly walked to his front door, turning on the porch light. Hearing kid's snicker and laugh at they ran past the house. Kendall ignored it, quickly sitting on the old couch that sat in there living room. He was tired—more like exhausted, and it was only four thirty.


	2. Meet Carlos Pena

"Family: The simplest, important, and most wonderful thing in the world."

Carlos Pena took a deep breath, clutching his one year old sister, Anna, on his side as he walked into a convenience store. Anna was becoming fussy, pulling on Carlos' jacket; she screamed "I'm hungry" "Shhh…" Carlos lulled his baby sister. It had been the first time they had eaten since he had left. Carlos walked into an aisle. "Find some snacks," he said gently kneeling down on his knee, letting her run towards a fruit snack section of the store. He followed her, letting his fingers slip into his pockets, sighing. He grabbed out the envelope of illegal money he had stolen from a guy on the street. Basically a mugger. Carlos looked at his baby sister, seeing how unaware she was of her surroundings. She quickly grabbed onto a box of dinosaur shaped fruit snacks, "Carlos! Carlos! Look what I got!" She exclaimed, running into her brother's arms. "Whatcha get?" He smiled, quickly fixing the oversized pink hat. "It's twerraspos." She said, her English now being good.

"Triceratops." He corrected her and she quickly pouted, a smile appearing on his brim face. He grabbed a shopping cart, gently putting her in the seat, buckling her safe. "Where's momma?" She asked, her Spanish accent was fluent. "Mamma's not gonna be here for a while." He lied, and she nodded, playing with the box of fruit smackers. He walked by each aisle grabbing certain things: diapers, bottles, formula. He bought food, though it wasn't a lot. He only had a $50 and that could barely pay the gas bill. Looking through the store, scanning the shelves, he quickly saw Kayla. _Crap,_ he thought, quickly pulling Anna out of the cart. He was scared that she would see him. Kayla was Carlos' girlfriend—well ex. They dated for four years, then once Carlos found out she was cheating, he quickly left the relationship. He sighed of relief, gently setting his sister in the cart, he continued shopping. Now I bet what you're thinking, why is Carlos taking care of his little sister? Easy answer: he got kicked out. No, it wasn't for not paying the bills. No, it wasn't because of bad grades. Carlos rubbed his eyes, trying not to let tears fall as he saw Anna look so happy, though they were homeless.

- - Flashback- -

Carlos walked into his house, hearing screams coming from his mother. He quickly ran in, his eyes bewildered. Seeing his mother's boyfriend strangling her; _strangling._ "Mom!" He screamed, seeing her eyes close as the man pulled away. "_Bastard_!" He screaming, grabbing the taller man collar's labeling him in the face. The man fell against the frame of the door, shocked. "Carlos—No!" His mother begged, but he didn't listen. "Fuck you man!" The older gentlemen screamed at the Latino; running up to him, throwing Carlos onto the floor, as he began to punch him in the face. Carlos became dizzy; but wouldn't give up. Carlos quickly grabbed the man's knuckles, twisting it as he heard the man's bone crack. "OUCH" He moaned, pulling his hand away. Carlos weakly stood up, grabbing a frying pan from the stove, hearing a smack as it came into contact with the man's face. He couldn't just stand there and let his mother get abused. The man fell onto the concrete floor, feeling blood trickle down his temple. A gash appeared on the side of his face, and Carlos soon heard Anna, screaming as she hid under a table. The man stood up, sick of this. "I'm outta here!" He screamed, rushing out of the ghetto looking trailer, running out of the trailer park. "RICK!" His mother screamed, about to run after him. "Don't go!" Carlos screamed, pushing his mother against the wall, trying to stop her leaving. "_No!_ Why did you do this?" She asked, falling against the brick wall, her knees falling into her chest as she cried. "Are you just gonna let him sit down and treat ya like shit?" Carlos spat. "I love him!" "Well he doesn't love you." Carlos coldheartedly responded and his mother jumped up. "Get out!" She screamed, hitting Carlos repeatedly as she broke down."Why did you ruin the one thing in my life that was perfect?" She screamed and Carlos chuckled. "He beats you mother." "Fuck you Carlos! _Get out of here_! I never want to see you again!" Carlos stepped back, shaking his head in disgust. "Fine." He said, pulling his hood over his head and he kneeled down by Anna, pulling her into his arms as he walked out of the house.

- - End of Flashback - -

Carlos wiped away the tear that quickly formed, he saw Anna start getting fussy. "You all done Anna?" He asked his little sister as he pushed the cart. "Mhm…" She nodded, playing with a little toy truck she grabbed while they passed the toy section. "Vooommmmm…" She said, running the toy car along Carlos' arm, as he pushed the cart to the checkout section of the store. Carlos giggled, his little sister had turned into a tomboy. Though she was only eleven months. Carlos sighed knowing he wouldn't be able to have any money to buy her a birthday cake this year. "Let's pay for this stuff." He said emotionless as they put their items on the convertor belt.

Carlos held onto to Anna, he began walking to his car, when seeing a few men he didn't know; though they knew him. They had guns and he knew they wanted him dead. Carlos turned around, and began walking the direction. They had a picture of Carlos, but the picture was old, two years old. Though Carlos looked nothing like he did now, and he began walked. Carlos held a tight grip on his baby sister, as they walked around town. They didn't have anywhere to go. His mother had hated him, his father left when he was six, and he barely had any friends. He sighed, walking into an alley, seeing his breath in the frosty air. Hearing Anna shiver, he quickly took off his gray sweatshirt, revealing himself in a long black long sleeve shirt but that didn't do anything. Letting the cold air linger up his spine, he quickly knelt Anna down on the ground. "Lift your hands up baby," He said sweetly and Anna raised her hands up. Carlos quickly put the gray sweatshirt over her head, struggling for it to fit. "You warm now?" he asked and she nodded happily.

"Good." He responded, pretending as if he wasn't freezing which he was. He cursed to himself, rubbing his arms. He picked up Anna and began walking. He didn't know where he was going, but he had to end up somewhere.


	3. Meet James Maslow

**We spent our time in silence,**  
**but there's something you should know that I would hold you like the wind,**  
**and I would catch you like the snow..."**

_Walking down the boardwalk off the coast of the abandened beach, James stuffed her firsts deep into the pockets of her jacket. His mind hazy of thing going through her head._

_"Whats a pretty boy like you doing alone?" A voice from behind came forwards as James turned arund, his eyes landing on a guy dressed in black; his face uncovered._

_Gulping, James backed away slowly. "Thinking. . ." He slowly answered, his heart pounding inside his chest. Ready to burst out any passing second._

_"Got any thought on how you're going to run away from me?" He smirked as James widened his eyes, opening his mouth to respond when the man took him into his arms, his hand covering his mouth._

_Kicking his feet and fists, James began to panic as the guy threw her him against a metal pole keeping her form faling on the sand a few feet away from boardwalk._

_Pinning him down, the man began slavaging in her pockets when he pulled out his wallet; grinning to himself._

_"You sick bastard!" James spit in his face, only the feel the man's fist pounding against his skull. Him blacking out._

"AH!" James bellowed out as he sat up. He had another dream. Another NIGHTMARE he would put it. They wouldnt stop. The same dream after dream after dream.

James opened his eyes; looking at the clock. It read four o'clock in the morning. Well 4:21 a.m. He wiped away the tears that had fallen from his eyes. His mind. . . was emotionally screwed. His heart was beating, his pulse was racing, all he wanted to do was get out of this "nightmare of a life" as James would put mugging, the rape, has tore down his confidence. Made him depressed. Worthless.

He walked over to the bathroom, turning on the shower faucet. Letting the water pour into the neatly clean tub. Gently removing his clothes he let the water run down his body. Cleansing his scars and the odor that has errupted from him from being depressed. Being depressed, he barely took showers. He didnt have the emotional compacity to take a shower. Thats how broken he was.

The water ran through his hair, the steamy midst made him feel calm, relaxed. But nothing ever made him feel safe. He didnt know how to feel safe anymore.

The water suddenly turned off. His parents hadnt paid the bills. In months. They never did. Too busy "taking them care of themselves". James rolled his eyes in disgust as he grabbed a towel wrapping it around his lower body.

They always partied. Never paid the bills.

James let his thoughts overwelm him as he gently slid a gray packers sweatshirt over his torso.

It was time for school. Time for him to pretend he didnt care. Yet all these fake smiles would end up letting him meet the love of his life.

"Morning James," a fellow teacher called out to James as he walked in the classroom. It was .

"Morning," he whispered in response. His focus was on the teacher he wasnt watching where he was going. He suddenly bumped into a small girl, practically knocking her over he grabbed her wrist, helping her up. 'I'm so so so sorry!" He automatically said in response.

The girl stood and dusted herself off. "It's fine." She let a smile light her face as she looked at the 6'2 boy. "I'm alright."

"Good. I didnt mean to bump into you."

"Hey, we're only human right?"

"Yeah," he smiled in response. He couldnt help but smile, the girl had a thing about her, that made him. . . happy.

"Well i gotta get to class. See ya later?"

"Yeah," he let a big cheesy smile spread across his face.

"Kay," she suddenly wandered off, James staring at her petite figure. Once she entered the classroom, he turned around see Carlos. A big black eye he sported around.

"Carlos, dude! What happened?" James asked his friend in worry.

"Nothing, alright?" Carlos spat.

Carlos was James; friend you could say. They talked but every once in awhile. They used to be the best of friends, and ever since Carlos got kicked out and James got mugged, they stopped talking.

"Fine," James rolled his eyes in disgust as he looked at his meer ex friend. He hadnt had a good attitude in a long time, and James couldnt understand why.

Carlos cursed under his breath as he looked at his watch. "I gotta go!" He said to himself and ran out the school.

James, standing hopelessly confused, was trying to figure out where the boy had to go only at 6 54 am. He simply ignored it and walked in the classroom. 

SO SORRY FOR NOT POSTING. I lost inspiration, then my computer broke, and a big ordeal happened. but IM BACK! Hope you like it. & sorry its not much.


	4. Meet Logan Henderson

Meet Logan Henderson;

It's on the line I've waited for a sign,  
I see it in your eyes, I, I know you really feel the same.  
I need to know if I should raise or fold, my heart is stuck on hold, I, I wanna know which way to go.  
I can't love alone, I can't love alone.

Logan looked around the library; anxious and well... nervous. He kept looking over his shoulder for his tutor, hoping none of his friends were their. None was there at all. Which was a pretty easy thing to predict, half his friends were jocks and you rarely see jocks at the library.

"Logan," the latina girl flushed a smile when she saw Logan at the table but then frowned. "Are you looking for someone?" She quickly glanced around herself.

"No, No. I'm fine." He smiled, crossing his hands togethor he looked at her, giving the girl his full attention.

"You're so cute." She giggled, flipper her hair behind her hair.

Logan's heart began racing, did the girl he was in love with...actually call him...cute?

"You, you think so?" He stuttered, trying his best to remain calm.

"Yeah," she bit her lip looking at the ground trying to change the subject since she felt awkward. "Well, wanna study?" She asked.

Logan sighed, the constant studying and reading of books was a drag, and he rubbed his fingers through his black hair. "Not really." He honestly stated.

"Logan come on, we've been doing so well-"

"I know, i know. you say that all the time. Cant we just hang out for once?"

Logan looked at the girl, sadly. "Please Katelyn?" He asked in a begging sortof tone.

Katelyn looked down, she contemplated if they should study of take a break. They had been studying all month, everyday at the same time, even though Logan was fond of the girl, he just couldnt handle his dyslexia. He had been doing pretty good she thought, and it would be nice.

"Fine," she smiled. "But tomarrow we're gonna study. alright?"

"Yeah sure that's fine!" Logan sighed of relief. Smiling, he looked at Katelyn. "Whatcha wanna do?"

"Beats me," she let her hand slide up to her chin and leaned towards Logan as they talked; getting a clear view of his face. He was her focus.

"Oh no," Logan looked down quickly covering his face.

"What is it?" Katelyn turned around, seeing Mitchell. One of the dumb jocks that always made fun of Logan.

"Just ignore him." she said to him and he quickly buried his head in his arms; alot of the kids had picked on Logan. Mostly cause they thought he was a nerd, when he was far from it.

Logan always considered himself an outcast, the "odd" once you can say. Bullying was one of the main reason he never studied before. Well before he met Katelyn, at least. Katelyn always made him feel special whenever he'd he see her his heart would skip a beat. But he wouldnt let her know that. Being as self conscience as he was, he didnt think she would like him cause he was dyslexic.

"Well well well, look who is it." Mitchell obnoxiously tapped on Logan's shoulder grabbing a chair from a different table, he spun it around sitting on it backwards.

Logan lifted his head up, and the jerk gave him a cocky grin.

"Can i help you?" Katelyn angrily asked crossing her arms against her chest. At the moment, she wanted to jump over the table and beat the shit out of the guy. Anger boiled inside of her. She hated when guys were mean to Logan.

Mitchell looked a the girl, automatically getting dirty thoughts in his head. "Yes you can," he licked his lips and she rolled her eyes in disgust.

"Dont you have somewhere else to be, i dont kno,maybe somewhere where you i dont know... wanted?"

"Bitch," the boy angrily mouthed under his breath.

"I heard that!" She called out. "Now i suggest you leave or-"

"Or what?" He got in her face.

"I'll kick your ass!" She pushed him away from her; slapping him across the face.

Mitchell quickly grabbed the girl's shirt collar, screaming in her face. "You wanna hit me!"

"PUT HER DOWN!" Logan stood up, screaming on top of his lungs. His face was beet red, and he wanted to kill Mitchell. Literally. He was about to explode.

"What are you gonna do about it, nerd." He gave Logan a smirk and Katelyn suddenly kneed him in the groin area.

His hands fell off her collar and she pushed him away from her, breathing heavily. That was the moment she looked at Logan and she wanted to run into his arms. Hug him and make sure she was safe.

Logan gave her a look and he quickly ran out of the chair, grabbing her hand they quickly ran out of the library.

"Logan I-" she tried to thank him but he immediately pulled her by her wasite, letting their lips come in contact.

She didnt hesiatate to pull away, letting her tongue slip into his mouth the two quickly passionately kissed.

'I love you," Logan breathed as he pulled and she smiled.

"I love you too."

"Really?" He asked, shocked as can be.

He didnt thinks she'd feel the same.

"Yeah,"

"This is fun," Katelyn said as her and Logan walked into the local park.

"Says the one who is on my back," Logan joked, adjusting his grip on the smaller blonde who was riding on his back.

"Oh shut up," she smiled seeing her ex-boyfriend enter the park which made her jump.

"I think ima go get something to drink," she jumped off Logan's back, she weirdly announced.

"Um, okay."He gently let her down and walked towards a bench.

Suddenly bumping into a tall figure, not realizing it was Mitchell he looked up.

"Oh lord. . . " He sighed. 


	5. Help carry me through

**and if i had to crawl**

**well you'd crawl too**

**i stumble and i fall**

**carry me through**

Kendall entered the high school, green hoody, jeans and regular vans covered the dirty blonde. The boy was usually quiet, and he always wore a hoody to cover his scars. But today, he actually felt, well, good. He didnt know why but he did. Walking the halls he didnt bother going to this locker, his first period was gym entering the gymnasium he took a seat on the bleachers. Already hearing the nonstop talking about him. People either called him weird, odd, or fag, and that just made him feel more worthless.

His eyes were down when someone tapped his shoulder. He cocked his head to see a petite girl in black shorts and a green and red sweatshirt that showed off her curves, though she just dressed casual. "Hi Kendall, uhmm can you help me with something?"

Kendall blinked, the girl, though he had never figured out her name she was always popular. Maybe that was because she was the only popular person that didnt sleep around. She seemed nice, but Kendall never thought of talking to him.

"Uhmm, what is it?" He nervously asked.

She quickly pulled out a mathbook and Kendall rolled his eyes, expecting her to ask him to do her homework but her words caught him by surprise. "I didnt finish my homework last night, and i seriously cannot figure out this problem."

Kendall frowned, why was she asking him?

"Why dont you go ask your friends?"

She quickly rubbed her temples. "I tried, nothing but ammatures that think that being dumb is cool." She rolled her eyes.

"Hmph," He looked away for a second.

"you were my first chance but yaknow, they were acting all snobby to me..."

Kendall looked at the girl. "What did they say?" His voice was serious and was about to crack.

"Nothing, it doesnt matter." She began playing with her hair, a sign that she had a crush on the boy. "Anyway, can you help me?" She smiled.

"Uh yeah sure," Kendall blinked. "What's the problem?"

The girl quickly skimmed through the book, flipping through the pages til she found the correct answer. She read out the question, though she barely understand the words.

"Blahh! Too many big words!" She giggled at herself seeing Kendall spark a smile.

"The word is pathagatheroum... i think." Kendall thought for a second.

"This word is too big, screw it!" She quickly slammed the book. "Let's just talk." She showed her teeth, the smile made her glow.

"You, you wanna... talk to me?" He choked, now seeing that this was her plan to talk to him.

"Yep. To be honest, i kinda think your cute."

Kendall began blushing as her words. No one had complimented him, ever. His heart began racing, she made him feel...special. "Really?"

"Yeah," she smiled touching his cheek. Her soft fingers caressed the boy's cheek, as that made him smile even bigger.

"Thank, i-i really needed that."

"Welcome."

The coaches quickly ran out of the locker rooms blowing their whistle. "Cmon kids! Start jogging that mile!"

All the kids got off the bleachers and began running.

* * *

Carlos sat in the men's locker room, tears flooding from his of sweat slowly slid down his face dropping onto his collarbone as Carlos wept to was heavy in the air like rain and permeated the whole room, the scent strong and sharp. He wanted to kill himself right now. Take away all the pain from him. His father had come back and that, that was bad.

Carlos couldnt handle the stress of taking care of Anna, he was embarassed that they were poor. He wanted what was better for her, so he did what was right. for her. Carlos put her up for adoption. He didnt want too, but if he didnt, he knew she would die. Living on the streets in the winter, it was well bad. He made sure he could take care of himself, but he needed Anna somewhere safe.

Theyre neighborhood was nothing but a ghetto. Gangs were everywhere, and if someone found him, theyd kill him and Anna. He couldnt let that happen. He'd rather have himself die, than her.

He sure as hell regretted it, letting the tears fall from his brim eyelids. Everything was a mess, he was mess. He wished everything would go back to when he was eight years old. When he lived in mexico and his family was togethor. But no, he dad had to leave them, and that forced Carlos and Anna to go to America, leaving his mother behind.

The thought of his mother, brought even more tears to his eyes.

Covering his face with his hands, he began sobbing in his hands. Letting nonstop tears, he loved his sister. He was his life, but he had to man up and make an adult decision.

Carlos' phone began ringing, he sniffled and answered. "Hello?" You could tell he was crying.

"Hi, this is Miss Lane from the adoption agency, we have some bad news."

Carlos turned serious, jumping up out of his seat he wiped away his tears. "What is it?" His voice was sharp as a knife.

"We can find Anna..."

"WHAT?" Carlos quickly put the phone against his shoulder as he grabbed his jacket out of his locker. "What do you MEAN you cant find her?" Frustrated, he quickly began banging his fists against the locker; it wouldnt open.

"You lost my daughter!" He screamed into the phone, feeling the tears escape from his eyes. Anna just wasnt his sister, to him he was her dad. He basically was her dad.

"We're sorry-"

"No! Go look for her!" He yelled, running out of the gymnasium. He pushed the door open, about to run out the school when he heard his name being yelled.

"CARLOS!"

Carlos immediatly turned around, seeing a teacher holding Anna's hand. A smile lit up his face. "Anna?"

"She stumbled in here this morning saying she missed you..." The teacher let go of her hand and Carlos immediatly sprang into action. He ran as fast as he could, pulling the small girl against his chest he held her tightly. He didnt care who was watching, he rocked her back and fourth cradeling her in his arms.

"Carlos," the young girl squirmed in his arms.

Carlos let out a laugh, letting go of the hug. "What are you doing here?"

The two year old let out a cheeky smile. "I missed you," She shyly said, hugging onto her older brother. Carlos knelt down by his sister, she was so cute.

"Aw, i missed you we gotta get you back to your family..." Carlos awkwardy said aware of the teacher that was watching her.

"No!" The girl pouted putting her arms against her chest. "No no no! I dont wanna go back!" She shook her head back and forth.

"Carlos, we need to talk to you." The vice principal suddenly walked up to him.

He immediately stood up, latching anna to his hip he bit his lip. "Am i in trouble?"

The vice principal smiled. "No. Not at all."

She made a hand gesture that meant right now. "Cmon Anna, let's go." He whispered to his baby sister, kissing her temple.

"Carlos you need to be honest with us."

Carlos was now sitting in the principal's office with Anna on his lap. They looked concerned at what had just happened in the hallway.

"About?" He grimly responded, smiling as his sister as she fell asleep in his arms.

"Carlos, why did Anna come here today?"

Carlos' smile faded. "I dont know. I put her up for adoption last night cause we had no where to go and i i i dont know. i didnt even know she knew where my school was she just came here..." Carlos babbled on.

"You put her up for adoption?" They got closer to them.

"Yeah." He looked at the ground.

"Why?"

"Cause we were living on the streets alright? Its winter and i knew that it would get colder so i just put her up."

"Wait, your homeless!" The vice principal shrieked. They hadnt been notified of this.

"Yeah,"

"Why didnt you say anything?"

"I dont know. I was so busy with taking care of Anna and everything... i just wanted to make sure she was taken care of."

"Wow." The vice prinicipal said in astonishment.

"Carlos, this is a serious question, but you seem to really love Anna, would you consider...taking custody of her?"

* * *

His palms began to sweat and James could feel his temples pulse violently and his chest ache with every bit of pain he could possibly manage right now.

Everyone around him was talking, laughing and having a great time. James sat in the classroom, with such a look of disgust on his face.

She's such a slut, James angrily thought as he looked at her. The reoccuring thoughts of his ex-girlfriend that dumped him made him angrier and angrier. She looked skinnier, James noticed, a little too skinny.

She looked...different. James kept his eyes on his exgirlfriend. She wasn't her usual self. Secretive, quieter, and... skinner. James suddenly began looking through his backpack, pulling out his laptop. He opened it, it was already on as he simply typed in the word "symptons of depression' onto before he could look at the screen he words mean words coming from behind him.

"Wow, you look horrible," Elizabeth sneered and eyed Emily up and down with her bright honey-glazed orbs.

Emily casted her eyes down and away, playing with the hem of a book she was reading.

"Doritos? Really Emily, really? Didn't you understand it last week when called you fat and ugly?" Elizabeth let out a small laugh, shaking her head shamelessly at her 'best friend.' "You might as well go drop-dead or something because it doesn't seem like any guy will like you." She shook her head once more and evily grinned. "You're so pathetic."

Emily quickly jumped out of her seat, "Mrs. Pryor, can i please leave?" She could feel James' glare on her and that only made her want to cry more.

"Where too?"

"The bathroom." She saw the teacher nod and as she went to grab the pass James easily heard Elizabeth's spiteful words.

"Probably to go throw up her lunch." She rolled her eyes, sitting down at her seat.

"Elizabeth, your such a bully!" James called her out, looking at the brunette with such disgust.

"JAMES!" The teacher yelled and Elizabeth rolled her eyes. "Excuse me!"

"You heard me. You must be REALLY sad with your life to go and tell someone they need to go drop dead." He kept his eyes on the bully and glanced at the teacher. "Can i go see if Emily is okay?"

The teacher nodded and James quickly ran out of the bathroom. He easily found himself looking through each halllway to find Emily, where she was no body to be found. He suddenly thought of the bathrooms, and ran. He ran as fast as he could.

"Emily?" He breathed. Glancing inside the restroom, he couldnt see anyone. James took a breath, looking around at his surroundings when he heard someone crying. It was Emily. He knew her cry from a mile away.

Walking into the room he heard her shrills and he desperately pushed the bathroom door, suddenly seeing her crying infront of continued crying, wiping her salty tears away with the back of her hands. She numbly looked up, seeing James. Her looked at her in such bewildermeant.

"Emily! What the, what the hell are you doing!" He grabbed the girl by her collar, gently pushing her against the wall.

Emily's eyes closed and she suddenly fell into James' arms, her body couldnt withstand her belemia anymore.

"Emily," James repeated to the girl as he brushed his hands across her face, trying to get her eyes to open. They slowly opened, she could barely keep them open, and James looked at her.

"HELP!" He screamed, his voice gazed up at Emily. Her eyes were puffy and red from the lack of sleep, her skin was a sickly palish blue, and cheeks were so sharply gaunt. . . she practically looked like skin and bones in someone else's eyes, but to herself, she was as fat as can be and she needed to be skinny.

James let out a bit of saliva as he spat in the toliet, letting himself think.

He heard the girl hoarsely began to breath and he gently wrapped his arms around her, letting her legs cling onto his waist as he began running towards the nurse's office.

"Nurse!" He screamed almost tripping over himself as he ran into the quiet room. Everyone jumped out of their seats when they saw the barely breathing girl.

"She needs help." James slowly handed the girl into the fairly older nurse as she looked in shock.

"What happened!"

"I found her in the bathroom. I dont know what happened. Some kids were calling her fat..."

"Belemia!" A teacher called out.

"Someone dial 9-1-1. Ill contact her parents." Another said.

James suddenly wrapped his arms around his body, hugging himself and tears leaked out his eyes. How could this... happen?

* * *

Sidenote: Sorry i didnt include Logan in this chapter. I couldnt think of anything, but he WILL be in the next chapter. Promise. Hope you like it. =D


	6. Skyscraper

**Skies are crying**

**i am watching catching tear drops in my hand**

**only silence as its ending, like we never had a chance**

**do you have to make me feel like**

**theres nothing left of me?**

Logan reluctantly looked around the library, his foot tapping of the anxiousness that stuck in his brain. His man's words ate at his brain, never leaving his brain.

_Cheater..._

_She's lied to you before..._

_She will never love you..._

He had been waiting for at least an hour, or, that's what it felt like.

"Hey!" Katelyn has a fresh smile on her face, and when she saw Logan, it slowly faded. She frowned. "Is everything.. okay?"

"Who is Wayne Rogers!" Logan snapped at the sound of her voice and Katelyn gulped.

"H-How do you know who t-that guy is?" She questioned him, her voice was about to crack.

"He called me, ask me where you were. A-Are you, are you cheating on me?"

Katelyn took a seat and shook her head, a fresh tear falling. "N-No." She stuttered, wiping away the tear with her sleeve. "He's... he's my dad..."

Logan frowned, why would her father be asking him for her?

"Why would your dad call me?"

"Can i tell you later?"

"No, Tell me now." Logan looked at her sympathetically. She looked like she was about to start crying any second now.

"My dad..." She started, closing her eyes as tears fell. "Is a alcoholic."

Logan became confused. What did that have to do with anything?

"He's been a alcholic for as long as i could remember. He did drugs who knows when, and when my parents divorced i finally thought i could get away from it..."

"Away from what?" Logan interuppted. She was surprised she was this strong.

"Him," she sighed. "He was never there for me. Ever. He always paid attention to my sister and forgot about me and my little brother. He made me hate myself.." she said in a soft whisper.

"Katelyn..."

"No. It's true. He is a horrible father. Spending his money on only alchohol, making my mom make three jobs. I hate him. I really do. he thinks he can leave for a few years and suddenly come back and be a dad again..."

Logan looked down, not saying a word. This was a way deeper issue then he expected. He had never realized that lack of father in Jackie's life. Katelyn always seemed happy, she was always cheerful and amazing image in his head. His father had scarred her. He truly did. This was only half of what happened in her bitter life.

"I'm sorry," Logan said, putting his hand on his girlfriend's shoulder.

"It's alright," she sat up, shaking off her feelings running her fingers through her hair.

"No. It isnt. Im sorry i was so upset. I ran into Mitchell a few days at the park and he... he put words in my head."

"Typical Mitchell." She scoffed.

"Look," Logan grabbed her hand. "I know your dad was never there for me," Katelyn's head popped up her eyes glossy. "But i want you to know, im here for you. I wont leave you like your dad. I promise."

Katelyn looked at him. "I've been told that so many times..."

Logan grabbed her arm, gently tugging her onto his lap. Touching her cheek,Katelyn nuzzled her head on Logan's chest. Logan held her tight, whispering into her head as he kissed her temple. "I would never make a promise i wouldnt keep." A smile crept on her face as his lips came in contact with her smooth skin.

"Thanks," She sniffled.

He grabbed her hand, interlacing his fingers with hers, "I love you," he told her.

She didnt respond, only held onto Logan tighter, her eyes closing.

Logan smiled to himself. Let is be Katelyn to fall asleep in a library, he was about to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Katelyn mumbled, barely awake.

"Nothing, i thought of something funny."

* * *

James stared at the ceiling angy. The hospital has forced him to leave, and he was upset. He sat on his perfectly made bed, staring at his feet. Trying to figure out what she was doing in the bathroom. She wasnt going to the bathroom; that was would have been blood, that was easily out of the picture. He couldnt get that look that she had as she pushed open the bathroom door open, she looked as if she got caught as if she was doing something she wasnt supposed too.

Thoughts flooded James mind and he silently bent down on his knees, looking for something. His hands ran underneath the bed finally finding a medium iszed box. It had laces of leather along it, a gift his mom gave him when he was younger. He always used it to store stuff. Important items.

Running his hands through his hair nervous, he opened the box. It was clutters with old report cards on the top, as his fingers flipped through items, yearbooks, family pictures, and a bunch of things he made his mom for mother's day which she promised to looked at but never at the bottom of the box, he grabbed out a face down picture, flipping it to his original's face he looked at it.

It was a picture.

The florensent lighting made the picture perfectly perfect to look at it. The right left edge was creased into a fold, he hadnt touched it in months. James' eyes hovered over the picture, seeing the familar faces: him, and his "best friend". James rolled his eyes at the backstabber of a friend. Looking at the left, he noticed Jeff and gulped. Putting away the picture James began breathing heavily. Thoughts of the mugging, maybe even rape, entered his mind. His mind went black after the altercation that landed him in this spot. Here. Now.

_-Walking down the boardwalk off the coast of the abandened beach, James stuffed her firsts deep into the pockets of her jacket. His mind hazy of thing going through his head. His thoughts hadnt left the girl he loved_

_"Whats a pretty boy like you doing alone?" A voice from behind came forwards as James turned arund, his eyes landing on a guy dressed in black; his face uncovered._

_Gulping, James backed away slowly. "Thinking. . ." He slowly answered, his heart pounding inside his chest. Ready to burst out any passing second. James recognized the voice, he just couldnt put his finger on it._

_"Got any thought on how you're going to run away from me?" He smirked as James widened his eyes, opening his mouth to respond when the man took him into his arms, his hand covering his mouth._

_Kicking his feet and fists, James began to panic as the guy threw her him against a metal pole keeping her form faling on the sand a few feet away from boardwalk._

_Pinning him down, the man began slavaging in her pockets when he pulled out his wallet; grinning to himself._

_"You sick bastard!" James spit in his face, only the feel the man's fist pounding against his skull. -_

That was the last thing James remembered on April 26th. He remembered what he wore, the time, and everything that he was thinking about. James sighed, letting out a slick tear, that was the moment he lost, well, everything.

After that incident, James ignored everything. Everyone to be exact. He pushed his parents away, pushed Emily away, he even pushed Carlos away. Sick of questions of are you okay, what's wrong. He needed to be alone, he thought at the time. And thats what he got.

_"Why cant you just leave me alone!" James snapped at Carlos, who was casually sitting on his couch reading a magazine._

_"Maybe because ever since LAST WEEKEND you've been acting like such a dickhead." Carlos rolled his eyes, sick of his horrible attitude. "What is up with you?" Carlos slide the magazine aside, looking at his best friend give a scoff._

_"Nothing alright!" James rudely answered._

_"You expect me to believe that?" Carlos angrily scoffed rubbing the back of his head. "Wow James." Carlos stood up, ashamed at his best friend. Slinking his backpack over his shoulder. "I thought you knew me better enough to trust me."_

_"I do trust you!" James yelled, looking down. "It's just..."_

_"Just what James? Just what are you hiding from me? God James, i though we were best friends! Best friends are supposed to tell eachother everything!" Carlos bit his lip seeing James stay silent._

_"I'll see you later," Carlos put his hand on James' shoulder finished his sentence. "Or whenever you decide to trust me." He sadly sad, walking out the door._

James regrets that day; he just couldnt admit it. Admit that pushing his best friend away was a mistake,cause well, at this moment he needed his best friend the most.

A knock on the door interupted his thoughts. James jumped up,quickly putting the picture in the box, quickly shoving the box underneath his bed as he raced to the door.

"Mom? What are you doing home?" James asked in well, shock. He hadnt seen his parents in weeks, or well thats what it seemed like.

"I came to grab a few things before i go on this big buissness trip," His mother rolled her eyes, she obviously dreaded the trip.

"Oh," James sighed a bit dissappointed. He would of liked his mother just to come and give him a 'hi' or 'hello' once in a while, but that obviously didnt happen.

"Yeah, oh! Emily is at the door. She wanted to talk to you." Mrs. Maslow quickly remembered and James froze.

"Emily? My ex Emily?"

"Yeah!" She gave James a odd look. "Do you want me to tell her you arent home or..."

"No! It's fine." James smiled. "Tell her ill be right there."

"Alright. Love ya Son." The older woman kissed her son on the forehead before walking off down the staircase, suitcase in hand.

"Bye!" James called after his mom and looked at her tell her something. Probably that James would be out their in a few minutes. When she saw Emily nod and agree he became relieved.

* * *

"Custody?" Carlos asked in complete shock. "You want me to take care of Anna?" He had never, ever, considered custody of Anna. Mostly because he hadnt thought of it.

"Yeah," the two older woman in the office nodded.

"I cant do that," Carlos explained. "Where am i gonna live? I live on the streets, literally. How am i gonna pay for court, a house AND anna!"

"Carlos, you've been taking care of Anna for who knows how long! If you can handle that, we wanna help you do something good!" The teacher enthusiastically encouraged him. "We know it's hard, and you barely are passing any of your wanna help you Carlos, we think you can do something really good with your life."

"So your saying im doing nothing with my life!" Carlos quickly accused.

"No no no!" The vice principle reassured. "We just think with a little guidance we can help you get custody of her, and go to college."

"Yeah, but i have no where to live."

The priniciple smiled. "You can live with one of us. I know it might sound strange but me and the school board talked about it. We really wanna help you with this."

"So, you want me to drop everything, come and live with one of you, so you can help me get custody of Anna?" Carlos asked, making sure he got everything understood.

"Yes." The two woman smiled, praying he would agree.

"Fine. But who is going to watch Anna when im at school?" He asked.

"My daughter will. She is homeschooled and she already said she would do it."

Carlos smiled. "Well then, I guess we're all set." Carlos stood up, happy for once. "Thanks," he gave a big grin as he hugged both of the ladies.

"Welcome," they both smiled, waiting until he left to show their enthusiasm.

"So should i come here after school?"

They nodded and Carlos smiled again. He was full of smiles. "Alright. Thanks once again. And you gonna be alright with Anna?" He asked. The woman asked to take care of the child while Carlos finishes classes for the rest of the day.

"We're sure."

"Cool. Well, ill see you after school."

"See you too!"

Carlos put his hands in his pocket, smiling as he walked to class.

* * *

James slowly opened his front door, seeing a nervous Emily sitting on the bench that laid directly on the left side of his porch.

"Hey..." James awkwardly smiled, sitting next to her. "Is everything alright?" If they were dating, James would've pushed her hair back, but since they werent, he felt a urge to push her hair back. And no matter how badly he wanted to, he knew he couldnt.

"No." Emily shook her head. "No, i'm not." Her hands were nervously rubbbing against her thighs and James became worried.

"Are you gonna tell me or what?"

"H-How'd...how did you.. how did you find me in the bathroom?" She asked, brushing her hair back and James looked down, wishing he could of been able to done it but couldnt. He screwed up and he knew he did.

"I dont know," James shook his head and shrugged. "I just knew something was up. You werent acting how you usually were."

"Hmph," she bit her lip.

"And speaking of how you were acting, how come you didnt beat those stuck-up bitches' ass?" James wondered.

"It's nothing something i wanna talk about." She looked at the floor. This was the kind of behavior he was talking about.

James rolled his eyes. "So your not gonna tell me?" James looked at her in anger.

"I just didnt want too okay? Just leave it."

James frowned. "Fine, ill leave. Oh, what happened at the hospital?" James spit out the question. The air around them was beyond awkward. It was full of tense feelings. Feelings held back, his and hers, and they were keeping things from eachother.

"Nothing." She growled.

"What was the point of coming here if you werent gonna tell me anything?" James looked at her, sympathetically.

"Oh, and like _you_ told me everything?" She snapped. Jumping up, she quickly rushed her fingers through her hair, about to cry. She had come here for comfort. Mostly because she had no one to talk to.

"What happened to us?" She asked, stressed.

"James, look at me."

James looked up, his eyes glossy from the tears he were holding back.

"What happened to us?" She repeated. "We used to tell eachother everything." She rushed over to him sitting back next to her looking him in the eyes. "_Everything._" She repeated. "Ever since April we barely look at eachother. Why? Why dont you wanna look at me anymore? Did i do something that upsetted you? Did i-" Her words were frantic. She wanted an explanation as to why he ended it. And he didnt blame her. The questions came to him out of the blew and she didnt know that she missed him like that. The same way he missed her.

"I dont know! I dont know, okay!" James shouted. Pushing her hands away his neck he stood up. Not knowing he startled her.

"What do you want me to say?" He looked at her, they were both on the verge of tears. Well, he sure as hell knew he was. "Do you want me to go and say that i loved you. I loved you more than anything i could possibly love and that everything inside me was falling apart? Is _that_ what you want me to tell you!" The words were leaving his mouth faster than anything. He didnt care that this was the first time he had verbally talked about it. He didnt care that he was crying. He didnt care. "Emily, i wanna tell you something. I really do. But i cant..."

"Why?" She yelled. Yelling at the top of her lungs. "If you loved me so much, why cant you tell me something like this? If is was _this_ big i wouldnt of told anyone. You know me. You know i wouldnt do anything like that-"

"It's not about you. It really isnt."

"What's it about?"

* * *

Carlos walked into his fourth period class. His hoody was well hung over his head as he took a seat as his desk. Feeling the stares of his fellow classmates made his stomach flip flop.

"Look who's finally in class for once?" A perky brunette snickered in the desk behind him. She was on the cheerleading team and thought she was the shit. Carlos was gonna prove her wrong.

"Oh, im sorry Becca," He turned around in his desk, looking at the now scared girl. "Does me have fucking problems at home bother you? Cause that is what has been keeping me from school. Or is fucking the football team make your such a sterotypical bitch?"

Carlos smirked and the girl rolled her eyes. "Whatever Pena."

"Exactly." He smiled to himself as he faced the front of the classroom.

A teacher quickly came by his desk and Carlos gulped. "Carlos, i need to talk to you." The teacher named Mrs. K, kneeled down by him.

"Yeah?"

"Come with me to my desk." She said, and Carlos followed.

Well, this aint gonna be good.

* * *

Kendall walked into the lunchroom, the loud echoes of the abnoxious football team screaming quicky gave him a headache. Do they _have_ to be so loud? Kendall angrily thought taking a seat near the doors of the cafeteria. The seats neat the doors were never taken. He was surprised. They were easier to leave the lunch room. Usually once the bell rang everyone would run out into one exit. This one was more chill.

He looked around, pulled out a book and noticed a group of girls walking back through a clear see through window. It was the girl from first period. He didnt expect anything to happen. Most people he would talk to, they'd only talk to him once and than that was it.

"I'll be right back." She smiled running inside the cafeteria near Kendall's table. "Hey!" She flirtaciously smiled.

"Oh uh.. hi!" He nervously smiled.

"What's up?" She asked, pulling out her bookbag, she put he lunch in front of her.

"Uhmm," Kendall became uncomfortable. "Im not trying to be rude but, what are you exactly doing?"

"Eating lunch with you. Is that..okay?" She frowned.

"No no no! Its fine."

"Cool." She said and they silently smiled at eachother.

* * *

Sorry this was mostly a Carlos and James chapter. I got inspired. Hope you like the new chapter. :)


	7. Lover Dearest

**this place is a hole but i don't want to go.**  
**i wish we could stay here forever alone.**  
**this time that we waste, but i still love your taste.**  
**don't let him take me place don't just sit there**

* * *

This is based on the song LOVER DEAREST by Marianas Trench. Check it!

* * *

"Hello?"

James answered the house phone after it abruptedly rang in the middle of his and Emily conversation. Part of him was relieved, and the half was dissappointed. He wanted to get it off his chest, tell her, let loose, but the hurt part always crept in and pushed her away. Soon enough he would push her so far away she'd fall in love with someone else. That was the thing he feared.

Emily patiently stood in the doorframe of the gigantic house, arms crossed against her chest; she looked tense. Her feelings were a mixture of annoyance and betrayal. As soon as the phone rang James ran as fast as he could to answer it. She could see it in his eyes that he didn't want to tell her. The way his movements were as he talked to whoever was on the other line of the telephone. The way he was looking in the other direction, avoiding her eye contact. It almost made her cry. Her once blue eyes were now glossed with the tears that she was fighting to control.

James' words faded into a distant as she thought. Why was she here in the first place? She thought to herself, it's not like he changed.

"James," she interuppted him.

James turned around as fast as he could, her voice. Her voice was... it sounds so hurt. So heartbroken. He became extremely worried, she always had this certain look on her face whenever she was going to say something that hurt her. & with James,that happened alot.

James pushed the phone away from his ear, letting his hand fall to his hip, he pressed the end button. He gulped, he seemed to be like this all the time. Worried. He was loosing everyone at this moment in his life, and he was sure he has finally pushed her away. For good.

She brushed her hands through her hair, feeling a lump in her throat form, she tried not to cry. "I'm gonna leave," She tried to speak but as soon as she did, her voice cracked, and the tears fell from her gourgeous face.

James breathed, letting the words accurately sink into his head. "To Where?"

"I dont know." She kept her eyes on the ground. "I'm just done here," her eyes closed as the tears freshly escaped. She wanted her words to be loud, but they only came out as a mere whisper. So quiet. Yet it was so loud to James. He could hear his heart beating, it was beating so rapidly, so fast, he thought it was going to explode right then.

"What do you mean?"

James automatically cut off his feelings. Being the victim of what happened to him, he was able to turn his feelings on and off. He blamed his mother. He never paid any attention to him anymore.

"Im leaving," she calmly said. She thought she was being strong but as soon as she turned to face the door, she was weak as ever. "...and im not gonna come back." She finished her sentence and James' chest tightened.

"Please...dont leave me Emily." He begged and she automatically turned around at the sound of his voice.

"Why?" She asked him. "The only time you ever wanna talk to me is when you go and say you want me back. You know i love you, you know how much i do and honestly i feel like your just keeping me for your own sick game." She spat, her words violently angry.

"Game?" James crazily laughed. "Is that what you think!"

"Yeah!" She loudly yelled. "You say you want me, here i am James! I'm standing right here and your doing nothing about it. I know something happened, you just dont wanna tell me..."

"Thats not true!" James cut her off, shaking his head as fast as he could.

"Then why arent you?" She took the sleeve of her shirt wiping away her tears. She felt as if someone was cutting her with a knife. Love this did to her. She always fell head over heels for someone who wouldnt catch her. James wanted to catch her, he just didnt have the strength to. "I told you everything about me, i told you everything..."

"It's not the easiest thing to talk about okay!"

James looked at the crying girl. How did they come to this?

She looked down at the floor, seeing her tears fall to the ground. "Wanna know what you told me the first time you loved me?" She asked him.

James didnt respond; his face was a flushed red. He was houghing, boiling with anger. He was angry at himself.

"You told me that you would always be there for me. You held my hand and made me feel beautiful," she smiled as she went on. "You told me that you would we would never break up..." she suddenly turned serious.

"You lied to me."

"I did NOT lie to you Emily,"

"Yes you did! God James, why can't you just tell me straight up what is wrong? If you dont tell me, i cant do this any longer. Waiting for you to come and be my hero like you were when we were dating, cause that's NOT gonna happen."

"What are you saying?"

Emily looked at James. She wanted to curl up in a ball and cry at this moment. "You can either let me in, or push me away." She sniffled. "I'm so sick and tired of sitting around everyday thinking of you. I keep on lying to myself, saying this is a fairytale, when really all we're doing is killing eachother."

The metaphor confused James, but he shrugged it off. "I... i can't choose."

Emily gave him a look of disgust as she shook her head. "Of course." She looked at him. "You don't care, You dont care one bit."

"You see Emily, that's where you wrong!" He calmly said. "I do care. And maybe if you would let me talk i would explain."

"Talk talk talk, that's all you do James. God, why can't you be a man and talk about your feelings!" She screamed.

The remark sent James off. How could she say he wasn't a man.

"Maybe because my fucking manhood was taken away from me by some sick perv when i was walking on the boardwalk!" His voice was raspy and angry.

"What?" Emily screamed on the top of her lungs.

"I was raped okay!" He yelled. "Walking home from the boardwalk a few months back! That's why i pushed you away alright? How could i tell you i was scared? That i wanted to die. Huh? God. I couldnt let you know how much i hated myself. Like it was my fault. I felt horrible back then, but i feel worse without you Emily, Worse. I wanted to tell you, i wanted to tell you this for so long but i couldnt-"

Emily cut him off and for a fraction of a second before James could say anything Emily grabbed his cheeks, bringing him down into a searing kiss.

It was desperate. Their mouths fitting together like they were looking for an answer, searching each others souls, trying to find something neither of them was sure existed.

But underneath the harsh edge, there was a softness. It penetrated through the desperation, a sweetness enveloping them that couldn't be replaced. An excess of amazing feeling they never wanted to let go of.

And, most importantly for James, the moment Emily's lips made contact with his, the horrible pressure that had been filling his body since he woke up was completely obliterated. It was better than anything he had ever tried. Better than being depressed. Better than anything in the whole world. And instead of filling the hollow space in his chest with uneasiness and self-hate, a wonderful bliss was moving into his chest, making him feel lighter than he had in ages. Making him feel good, Making him feel free, Making him feel alive.

It wasn't just a kiss. It was a promise. A promise that Emily would do anything and everything to help the brunette boy. A promise that James would love her. Keep her in his arms forever. and never let her go. A promise that they would get through this together. A promise that they would never leave.

They broke apart slowly, their lips lingering together for a long moment. They were holding onto that first kiss together. Emily rested her forehead against James's, both of them gasping for breath.

"Tell me you mean this . . . " Emily said, clutching James' dark hair between her fingers. "Tell me this is real."

"It's real." James replied, pulling Emily to his chest, rubbing circles into his back as Emily went to gripping his waist. "It's definitely real." He kissed her hair as they both just sat, each others presence the only thing they needed to feel content.

James was the only outlet he need, the only one he ever wanted. The day wasn't over and he had a lot of explaining to do. The pressure would build up again, but he had discovered a new way of coping, a new method of relief.

The color red could mean a lot of different things. It could mean disaster, bloodshed, and by that extension, death. But it could also mean warmth, friendship, and love. It was the color of the heart. And the heart was what allows us to feel. James had always seen red as an evil color, the color of his down fall, and the color that haunted his nightmares. Now a whole different connotation was opening up in front of his eyes as Emily continued to hold him.

It meant everything he wanted, everything he thought he would never had . . . and everything he almost lost.

* * *

Sorry this was only a James chapter. i just REALLY wanted to post this. :D MORE THIS WEEKEND.


	8. Fall into my Gravity

**Took a long hard look, at my life. **

**Lost my way, well I was fighting the time. **

**A big black cloud, stormy sky. Followed me, while I was living a lie. **

**So heartless, so selfish, so in darkness, when all your nights are Starless, You're running outta hope.**

** But I found the strength inside to see, found the better part of me, And I'll never let it go.**

Carlos felt a smirk rose on his rosy, tan mexican skin as the teacher spoke.

"...We're sorry..."

Carlos simply shook his head.

Rubbing his thighs nervously Carlos looked at his history teacher, not really caring about what she had to say. He shrugged. "I could care less if i fail this class. Cause im pretty sure i have more problems to deal with than passing high school miss," his eyebrows narrowed. "What's your name again?" He jerkishly chuckled.

"Dont disrespect me Carlos." The teacher ordered.

He looked at her. "You may not give a rats ass about me, but guess what? I am GOING to get custody of Anna. It may take a few years, but i can always come back to high school, but do you wanna know something? I can't go come back to Anna. So," Carlos stood up silently dusting himself off. "Fuck you, and fuck you to all the teacher's that dont believe in me. Cause ima make something of myself. Just wait!"

And with that, Carlos walked out the door. He felt good. He felt like he was on top of the world, he was going to get custody of his little sister, and that made him smile. That gave him inspiration. That he could do it. Anyone can do it, so why couldn't he?

Hands in pocket, he walked to the guidance counselers officer read to kick some ass. "Is Mrs. Karina here?" Carlos asked, he had finally remembered the principle's name. He barely knew the receptionist's name.

"Yeah, hold on a sec." The woman gently leaned toward the waiting room and Carlos took a a phone she dialed a number and Carlos patiently waited.  
Suddenly a girl walked in the room in a uniform. It wasn't a regular uniform. She wore a dark black jeggings, a dark enough red shirt to match, and a red sox hat. Her hair was loosely falling over the frame of her face, and that caught Carlos' eye. Holding a greasy looking brown bag, she handed it to the receptionist. "Can you give this to my mom?" She sweetly said.

"Sure," she said and started a conversation, Carlos couldn't help but eavesdrop.

"How's your new job?"

She shrugged. "It's alright i guess. Not the best-"

"Where do you work?" Carlos interjected. "Sorry, i didn't mean to eavesdrop, but yeah. . . " Carlos quickly felt awkward.

"I work at Ben's Bakery. Who are you may i ask?"

Carlos suddenly got intimidated by her choice of words._May. _No one really used that word nowdays, maybe it was because of the lack of respect with today's society, but it really made him feel uncomfortable. Looking at her, she seemed well dressed. Better than him he could say the least. Her eyes were a bright blue, and by her looks and attitude she seemed like an alright girl. She had her arms across her chest, but it wasnt like she was mad. It was a way of respect, and Carlos was impressed.

"I'm Carlos."

"Oh, you're gonna live with us? My mom is the principle, and she told me what happened it that's alright."

Carlos suddenly tensed. He didn't like the feeling of someone telling other's about his problem. His peers would probably look down on him, but considering it was her daughter, he let it go. If someone was randomly moving in, he would want to know too.

"It's fine."

The girl suddenly shook his hand, which made him feel weird. Again, society.

"I'm Kiara."

"What a pretty name," Carlos said and Kiara felt the rush of heat fall on her cheeks.

"Thanks," She looked around for her mother, turning to the brown headed receptionist she asked a question. "Hey, where is my mom?"

"She's in a meeting."

Kiara suddenly rolled her eyes, groaning of disgust. "Of course," she began upset and Carlos wasn't sure if he should ask or not. Deciding not too, he was surprised when Kiara sat next to him.

"Well," she looked at Carlos. "Since we're going to be staying here for about an hour and a half why not kill the time."

Carlos thought. "How would be do that?"

"I dont know, probably talking." She quickly giggled,it was such an oblivious statement and Carlos let it slide right through his head.

"Oh! Right!" He smiled.

"So, why were you mad earlier?" Carlos wondered.

"Mad? When?"

"After that lady said your mom was in a meeting."

Kiara sighed. "Let's just say me and my don't have the _best_ relationship."

"Hmph,"

* * *

"Kendall!"

Kendall suddenly dreaded walking into the front door of his house, hearing his father scream his name Kendall knew he was in hell once again.

Staying silent, Kendall didn't move. His muscles tensed and he was hoping his father wouldn't notice he was home. That way he could easily slip out the door.

The muscular man quickly looked at Kendall from the top of the staircase. "Kendall, what the hell happened to you!" He screamed, showing no sign of love or sympathy.

"Some guys jumped me at school sir." Kendall responded knowing that his father had noticed that black eyes, burns, and cuts that laid on his wrist and upper arm.

The older man chuckled. "You probably deserved it."

Kendall looked at his feet, he couldn't understand how his father was so. . . _cold._ So heartless, to that fact that he actually loved the fact that his own son, his own blood, had gotton beaten up at school. His heart was ice. Cold, icy,and full of pure hatred.

"Saved me the trouble of lying to the cops." He agressively pushed past Kendall, letting his body fly against the wall he walked into the living room. Kendall was already gasping for a few breaths, he felt so weak, so. . . useless. Holding onto the doorknob as a stable ground, Kendall slowly breathed, shutting his eyes for a quick second.

"Now, go make me some dinner."

"Alright," Kendall cautiously said, debating on whether to take a run for it, he was so close to the door, so close to freedom, so close to running away. So close to being away from him. Yet, his dad was faster. Stronger. & he knew that his dad would beat him to it, Or well he _thought._

Kendall held a tight grip waiting for his cue.

"Well, _what are you waiting for!_ Go in the fucking kitchen and cook, will ya!" His father was about to get up but Kendall quickly ran to the kitchen almost in tears.

_He talks to me like im some sort of slave,_ Kendall thought._Maybe i am one, maybe im destined to this, destined to die like my mother did. . ._

Kendall's mother had always been hardworking. She had deep hazel eyes that shined whenever he smiled. Kendall always was told by his grandmother that he had her quality. Kendall suddenly wondered where his grandmother was. His father had cut off all communications with any family members since his mother died. Sometimes he didnt even think his mother dying was the cause of the abuse, he was just pure evil.

Kendall quickly opened up the microwave as he began heating up rice. He was gonna make a crappy meal, he was never a good cook. His mom always did the cooking when she was alive, and that left Kendall. He expected Kendall to be like mother, to just do whatever he ordered, but he was different. he didn't take her. Which he assumed was why he got beat so badly. He never understood why and he never will. Why someone would intentionally hurt your kid? He just couldnt grasp the concept of it. He suddenly heard the water running upstairs, the water was running. His dad was in a shower. Finally thinking his last thought. He decided, whether he should run or stay.

* * *

Logan hurried as he walked towards the front door. Frantic.

He's always had to learn to never be too trusting with the girls who took an interest in him. One smile from their glittery lips and a look from their shiny eyes, his promise would be broken, forgotten until he broke a heart.

His promise to himself was burned away by the sparkle of her smile.

His promise to himself to not cheat with one of the girls at school, was broken. He had a problem.

He couldn't be happier.

He had the _perfect_ girlfriend, she might be…

For some reason he can't finish the thought, almost as if the words refuse to appear. This bothers him just a little. And those words, forgotten till too late whisper like a nightmare to him.

He couldn't get the thought of the trouble he had brought upon himself. He had cheated on Katelyn. With a scumbag slut who only wanted him for sex. How could he do it? How could he let him hormones get the best of him?

It was now 7pm. Two hours since the incident occured. He had sex with the girl, and he knew he blew his chances.

_She i tell her? _Thoughts raced through his head. Should he? He loved her, i mean he thought he did. But wait, that would hurt her. Hurt her worse than everything.

Contemplating, the doorbell rang. Peeping through the peephole he saw Katelyn looking gourgeous as ever. She looked so innocent, and of course she would want to know why he never came to their study session at the library.

God, he was such an idiot.

He decided not to answer the doorbell, hoping she would just go away. Hoping the thoughts would just leave. But they didnt. They for sure stayed.

* * *

James slowly caressed Emily's cheek, nibbling on her ear, she giggled as she playfully pushed him away. "James.. stop!" She smiled.

"Sorry," he fakely said. James bit his lip, for the most part, he was sorry. All he wanted to do was kiss her. He hadn't kissed her in so long and that's all he wanted to do frankly at the moment.

"Why'd you say it like that?" She said in a weird tone. She wasnt mad, or upset just like concerned.

He scoffed. "Is it a crime for a guy to wanna kiss his girlfriend?" He winked.

"Oh lord," she joked rubbing her hands through her hair she looked at James.

"Oh, don't play hard to get." He hornily grabbed her hand, pulling her on his lap.

He rubbed his hands up against her hip, letting his mind remember the gourgeous features. She was curves, real curves, not fake curves like most girls had. They were perfect. The way his hand could perfectly grasp them in his palms he felt her body tense up, getting goosebumps.

"You're so beautiful," he whispered as he kissed her cheek.

"Thanks," she looked up at him. Feeling his warm arounds wrap around her neck, he pulled her into a kiss. She almost automatically kissed him back, feeling his toungue interlace with his, James smiled, slowly breaking the kiss. Rubbing his hand up her back he gently held a grip on her cheek as he fell onto his back.

"I'm glad we got back togethor," she smiled gently kissing his lips. It felt so perfect. They hadnt been this close to eachother to eachother in months. All James wanted to do was give himself to her. Love her.

"I know," he smiled, kissing her neck and she smiled. Sitting on his lip, they were staring into eachother's eyes, they simply adored eachother.

"I love you," James started. "And i wanna do something. . ." He said, trying to sound as gentlemen-ly as he could. He didnt want to come off as a jerk or anything.

"What's that?"

"I wanna go. . . all the way with you. I know we just got back togethor and all but you dont know how much ive wanted to-"

Before James could even finish his sentece Her lips trembled and she licked her bottom lip absentmindedly before sinking her teeth into the plump flesh. "You're the only guy i'd wanna give myelf too." She blushed, and James looked down a grin falling onto his face.

James pulled her close, close as ever and they soon made love.

* * *

Morning rolled around, and Kendall was about to collapse. He got out, he ran out of the hell house, thats what he called it, and ran. He didnt know where he was. Rain was pouring onto the boy's silky skin. He was drenched, and it was the only time he had to get away. He couldn't eat, sleep, or even run. He didn't feel safe. Suddenly Kendall fell against a brick building,he didnt know what time it was. And he didn't care. He closed his eyes, about to drift into a deep sleep when he suddenly saw a woman. Her eyes were dark green like him, and at first he thought he was hallucinating.

She pulled up in a yellow porche and she looked exactly like his mother. But she was dead. She couldnt be here. She couldnt be here.

Or could she?


	9. Stay in my Arms

**On my heart you've burned**

**Doors slam**

**Lights black**

**You're gone**

**Come back**

**Stay gone**

**Stay clean**

**I need you to need me**

**Then love until we bleed**

James felt his beat, it kept beating. Thump thump thump... he felt it. He was about to break down. Panicking, he looked around, see him.

Him.

He felt his hands get clammy, sweatier and colder by the second.

Sitting at the coffee table in a local Starbucks, his eyes didnt leave him. Hearing him talk, hearing the words.

James tightly held his coffee cup, he was talking to some woman.

James needed to confront him. He needed to. He just needed to get the courage to do so. He looked so happy, and that made James pissed off. How could be so damn happy when he made James so fucking miserable? Taking in deep breaths and letting out slow ones, he tried to gather his thoughts togethor. What should he say? 'Hey im the kid you raped a few months ago' No that'd be stupid, James thought to himself. He needed something creative,something good. Something random.

He looked around the room, what did he have to loose. He doubted that the man would even recognize him.

Smoothly standing up, he walked over to him.

"Hey," he interuppted the man. He was tall, about 6'1 and weighed about 130 pounds. His eyes we blue and James remembered them perfectly. Mostly cause it was the only part of his face he could see.

"Excuse me, im in the middle of a conversation here." He rudely snapped, which was the point. Since he automatically remembered the hazel eyes boy.

James was caught off guard, slowly taking a step back he just did what he was told. "Yeah," he said about to cry. He looked at the man, reading his nametag his name was Ashton. "Sorry, sorry. I wanted to ask you a question." He looked down at his feet. "Its alright though, it doesnt matter."

James suddenly shook his head, his hair flawless shook with his head, sending chills down his spine.

"I'll just go." He softly spoke, feeling him stare him down he didnt wait for the man to speak, he just turned around and walked.

Walking out the door, his eyes were wide. He had been sweating, nervous and the awakening of what happened to him had made him feel, it brought back all the bad memories, and when that happened: he shut people out.

* * *

Kendall suddenly opened his eyes, the smoke alarm in his kitchen suddenly began ranging and he jumped. "Dammit," he muttered to himself seeing that the food was burning in the pan. Throwing the pan in the sink, he turned cold water on,hoping to control the fire he tried his best to blow his breath on the smoke alarm. He learned in science class the air would cause it to stop.

But it didnt stop,

It kept ringing.

Ringing.

and Ringing.

He suddenly fell to the floor, his eyes could barely open as it was, no add the humidity of the room, and Kendall was out.

His father suddenly bursted into the kitchen the fire has esculated. The flames bursted out of the sink and onto the counter, it was like a chain reaction.

And there Kendall stood, frozen on the ground. Barely breathing.

"Oh shit, OH SHIT OH SHIT!" Kendall's father repeatedly freaked out to himself. he didnt know what to do, he didnt know who to call so he did what was expected: he left.

Tears flooded out of his eyes, seeing his son, he suddenly felt like...a bad father. Bruises ran along Kendall's neck and he looked at his hands, the cuts and bruises he had gotton from DOING it.

"Kendall!" He screamed, suddenly sitting ontop of the boy, he began shaking Kendall by his shoulder. Shaking him, screaming on the top of his lungs. "kendall! GET UP." He weeped, but it was no use. Kendall barely moved. His dad wasnt even sure he was breathing or not. but suddenly, the counter collapsed and the debree and ashes that came along with it, fell to the ground almost suffocating him.

Kendall's dad panicked. What was he supposed to do?

Backing away from everything, he slowly stepped towards the it, he stepped out. Leaving.

* * *

Rebecca clutched her ipod as she began blasting the latest Bruno Mars' hit song as she walked around the block. It was cold, as the air hit her face she began walking on the sidewalk.

A large, bulky man running suddenly bumped into the small girl. He was out of breath.

"HEY!" She rudely screamed at the man, who was he to bump into her?

"Please... go help Kendall! I dont know what to do!" he frantically screamed.

She frowned, what was the man going on about? "Wait-what?"

"324 rockhold lane. Go!" He screamed before running off and then the name came to her mind.

_Kendall._

Taking her headphones out, she began walking normally. Then she began walking Faster. Than Faster. Before she knew it she was running. She only knew on Kendall, and in this town everyone knew eachother. It was close knit. The way the old man spoke to her, it sounded like something was wrong.

Rebecca suddenly stopped infront of a house. The place was bright. REALLY bright. Too bright to be normal. Running to the door, she was too frantic she could barely turn the knob she screamed. "Kendall? Are you in there!"

No answer.

"Fuck!" She screamed, she suddenly deciding to leave the door, she suddenly heard screams come inside the small two story house.

Rebecca suddenly ran to the window on the side of the house, seeing the bright light. It wasnt a light. It was flames.

"Kendall!" She screamed, seeing him through the window. She suddenly gasped, he looked, horrible.

He layed on his stomach on the ground, his eyes could barely open. His surroundings made her cringe as she looked around. The stove was still running, meaning the gas was still on. Kendall was a big busted up lip, dried blood stained his lower lip. His eyes were weak. So weak. His upper chest and head was the only thing that was looking at her. He wanted to say so much, he wanted to scream on the top of his lungs, scream for someone to save him. He stared into Rebecca's eyes as she rapidly began kicking and punching the front door of his house.

His breathing was deep and slow, as the shining of the flames causes the oxygen flow to his lungs to barely be possible. He was teary eyed. He knew he wanted to cry, but how would that help?

Rebecca suddenly got the door handle to budge, and once the door frame was opened he noticed there was a chair behind the door,keeping it closed.

Kendall scarecely coughed on his hand, seeing nothing but a red, gooey substance he knew it was winced, trying to stop the bleeding with his hand. Rebecca was close, and as soon as she got the door down, she was inside.

"Kendall," she breathed running over to him. Falling to her knees, she patted his back. "Kendall, are you okay?"

He shook his head and It took him a few minutes, but Kendall was within an arms' length of Rebecca. She groaned, swinging her arm ahead of him and using the last of her strength to haul himself closer. Kendall coughed again, wishing he could move. Once he had fallen, his body seemed to shut down. He was able to twist his neck enough and see Rebecca coming for him, only to be shot down. Rebecca even watched as Kendall used all of his strength to crawl back to him. All he wanted was the ability to move, just so he could meet Rebecca, and not watch looked around. She was surrounded by flames. And she barely could breathe.

Kendall felt tears sliding down his face, but he refused to quit. He bent a few fingernails digging into the creases of her shirt ,he pulled himself towards Rebecca.

The flames and ashes was beginning to numb him to handle, but Kendall did his best to ignore it. Rebecca was too close for him to give up.

"Rebecca..," Kendall breathed, he rested his forehead against the top of her shoulder. "Don't… say anything. Im gonna get you outta here." She was too weak to say anything more, and he could feel himself slipping away.

Kendall stared up at Rebecca as he was held, and he felt his lips curling up into a small smile.

"You're gonna be okay, Kendall. I promise, okay? I promise."

* * *

James stood frozen. Sitting in his desk at homeroom, God he couldnt remember the last day he had been in school. It had felt like weeks. Staring off into space, he had been hoping that Emily would soon walk in the door. That was mostly the reason he came to school. He hadnt really thought about high school, with some much going on, he forgot that he was a junior and ACTS would be soon.

His mind wandered off and onto different topics and suddenly he saw Emily. Lord, she looks gourgeous. He smiled as he looked at her. She wiped her bangs from her face and suddenly blushed when she sat next to James. "Hey," she smiled grabbing onto his hand as their fingers interlaced with eachother's.

"Em, I need to tell you something." James said, and he slowly pulled his hand away from hers and she suddenly frowned. "What- Why'd you pull your hand away?" She inncently asked. A bit hurt.

He could tell she was alarmed. "Oh, no! Everything is okay. I just need to tell you. . . something. S_omething_ important."

"What is it?" She blankly asked.

James sat in the cold hear chair, his shoulders comfortable rested on the edge of his tan brown desk. He rushed his fingers through his hair;his body suddenly got warm. His leg suddenly began shaking, steadily going up and down and Emily frowned.

"James, what is it?" She repeated herself; this time more concerned.

"I saw him," he looked at his feet, ashamed and embarassed that he had to bring his 'unneeded drama' as to what he called it to school.

"I saw the man that raped me today before school,"

Letting out a gasp, she calmly took a deep breath, grabbing onto his hand as fast as she could. It only took her half a second to do it; and that made James smile as he looked at the ground. It was comforting to have someone there for him.

He smiled, looking up. He didn't say a word, he just looked at her. He knew she was going to say something, he just waited for her to say it.

"H-How do you feel?" She choked out, remembering how long it had taken them to be togethor again, and she was scared. Scared that this was going to cause all of their repared relationship to fall to flames. Chills crept up her spine, closing her eyes she suddenly felt James press a kiss against her cheek.

Her tightly closed eyes, fluttered opened. "Uhm, what was that for?"

"That was for," James shrugged. "I dont know, being there for me."

She let a smile frame her face; "It's what im here for."

He suddenly let out a chuckle.

"What's so funny?"

"You have mis-matching socks." One sock was an animated version of "Pikachu" and the other was a disney character, "Mickey Mouse."

"Oh shut up James. Excuse me for not wanting to be late to school all because i couldnt find matching socks." She giggled, playfully rolling her eyes.

"No, its okay. It's cute."

They exchanged smiles, and James suddenly felt like, things were getting _better. _He could wake up knowing that Emily would be there to hug him amorously in the morning. He could sleep well, knowing that she was only a phone call away, or maybe, he could used to waking up to her every morning.

* * *

Kiara silently waited as she leaned against a gate behind the school. Her silky long hair was up in a ponytail, giving her full ability to see.

She was silent; but that didnt help with the concurring thoughts that esculated through her brain. Would he stay, or would be leave her?

The latina took a deep sigh, protectively wrapping her arms around her stomach, she tried her best not to cry. She tried to stay strong; knowing that her being pregnant could cause her boyfriend of four years to disappear as easily as in a second. All four years would be gone. She suddenly thought to her, of how she would tell her. What words she would use, how they would be pronounced, everything needed to be perfect. Oh as she waiting had she wished that everything would work out. That's what she prayed for. For everything to work out.

"Josh," she sighed of relief trying to hold back her tears. She tried her hardest. Trying to control her emotions, but all that did was make her want to cry more.

"I need to talk to you." She smiled.

"Oh, you too? Good." The brown eyed boy, named Josh, let his fingers fall into the pockets of his jacket. "I need to talk to you."

"Oh okay."

There suddenly was a silence. Josh barely looked at her, he kept his eyes on his dark charcol brown colored shoes as all Kiara did was stare at him. Why wasnt he saying anything to her?

"I love you,"she let out. If she had to say something, it might as well be the truth.

But still. He just stared at his shoes.

"I-I think we should see other people." He blurted out. After endless seconds of silence and Kiara being worried, all her pain washed over her. Into tears.

"W-What? Josh, H-How could you break up with me? _How_?"

"I just dont love you anymore." He coldly said, and Kiara looked at the ground. There goes her heart breaking.

* * *

Carlos let his eyes scroll across the package of papers that laid on the table. Flipping from pages to pages at he studied, he felt..._dumb_.

Everyone was easily reading through the pages, answering the questions that stood on the blackboard of the classroom. Yes, there was Carlos. He could barely read the words on the page.

"I cant do this," he said to himself, looking around the class. He couldnt find any teacher for assistance. So there he sat: scared. He had to pass this class: for Anna. But how could you pass when you could barely read a words on the page?

He looked down; blaming himself.

The door of the classroom opened, and he suddenly saw Kiara. Kiara gave the teacher a pass, and she directly pointed at Carlos and looking around, he noticed that their was an empty seat. She slowly took a seat.

What the heck, Carlos thought. If i ask someone for help, it might as well be her.

"Hey, I have a question." He asked and Kiara didnt respond, instead she put her head on the desk, covering her head with her arms. Closing her eyes, she prayed that tears wouldnt father.

He gently tapped her shoulder and she sadly responded. "Yeah?"

"I need help." Carlos said to her and Kiara stood up, not wanting to help him. Slouchily she gave Carlos a look.

"Whatcha need help on?"

Carlos shook his head, "Everything." He chuckled to himself and she smiled.

"Oh lord child," she giggled. "Read me the problem."

Carlos smiled to himself. She was helping him. For some reason, it felt. . . good. Nice. Great, actually. That someone was helping him. Helping him with Anna, and his work. It made him smile. "Okay," he said suddenly reading the question out loud.

"Alrighty," Kiara suddenly stretched out her arms and she grabbed her pencil. "This question, to me, is really easy. So here's what you do. . . " Carlos suddenly let her words go to back of his mind, he found her. . . gourgeous.


	10. This is making love crazy

**So it ain't nothing wrong **

**We thinking with our hearts **

**And letting someone in **

**The storm might break you down **

**But you get up again**

_based on the song for the first time by the script._

* * *

Carlos tiredly dragged his suitcases up the steps of his new "home". Running his fingers against the leather exterior of the bag, another hand held onto Anna. She looked up to her older brother, letting a smile release from her adorable face.

"Carwos, we are wee?" She quickly took a step closer to her brother; holding onto his thigh. She was obviously aware of her surroundings and she was obviously scared.

Carlos smiled, standing on the porch of the house, smiled. Grabbing the girl by her hips, she clinging to his waiste. "It's okay babygirl," he kissed her forehead. "This is gonna be our home for awhile alright?"

She nodded, tightly holding onto Carlos, she tightly closed her eyes.

Before Carlos was going to knock, the front door suddenly opened.

"Hello," the girl suddenly hugely smiled. "CARLOS!" Emily gasped in excitement, "Oh my Gosh, i havent you in forever! What are you doing here?"

"Uh, is Kiara or Mrs. Lane here?" He awkwardly asked. His eyes widened, and he gulped. She looked. . . beautiful.

"Uh, yeah. Hold on. Come inside."

Emily quickly let the door open and ran upstairs,letting Carlos slowly walk into the kitchen. He looked around, a fancy chandileer mounting in the middle of the room, grunting, he rolled his eyes. The place looked so. so fancy. Fancy decorations on the wall, leather seating, pictures of the family everywhere, it was nothing he could ever afford. Nothing he could even pay for in his entire life.

I dont belong here, he thought to himself.

Setting Anna down, Emily suddenly came downstairs.

"Uh, Laurie is in the bathroom," Emily giggled. "She'll be down soon but she told me to tell you that i should show you your room and everything. . . so let's go."She turned to the stairs.

"Wait!" Carlos stopped her. She turned back around.

"Are you even sure that they, i dont know, want me here?" He gulped.

She shook her head."Carlos, they wouldnt of offered if they didnt want you here. & if its okay,they told me what happened, why didnt you ever tell us about it?"

"It's something i really dont wanna talk about." He looked at her.

"Hmph," she looked around. "Well, im gonna give you a hug." She smiled, running over to her boyfriend's ex best friend she gave him a hug and Carlos smiled, hugging her back.

"Ive missed you." He smiled, rocking the girl slowly back and forth, embracing her.

"I missed you too." She felt the smile on his cheeks and she had to say, he smelled good.

A loud sound of someone clearing there throat caused the two to quickly pull apart.

"James," Emily said, taking in a breath, she looked at him. "Carlos is here."

James arrogantly looked at Carlos, giving him a look of disgust. Though it was fake, he tried to make it seemed believeable. That he was upset and sad.

"J-James, h-hows it going?" Carlos stuttered as he asked the question.

James looked down, trying to control himself. "I'll be right back." He lied, he wasnt gonna come back. He wasnt gonna do anything. He looked away from both of them, walking up the stairs that lead to Emily's best friends bedroom.

* * *

"Kiara!" James screamed running into Kiara's bedroom.

"Huh?" She said, reading a magazine that had Jennifer Lopez on the cover, she clearly didnt hear the frustration in his voice.

"Dude, why didnt you tell me Carlos Pena was the carlos that was going to be living here?"

"Woahhhh," Kiara sat up. "Dude, calm down. And how was i supposed to know he was the Carlos you were mad at?"

"I'm not mad at him." James sadly recalled, looking down.

"Well you sure made it seem like it."'

"Well," He suddenly scoffed, he made himself look like an idiot. "Ugh," he grunted. "Nevermind."

* * *

Carlos awkwardly looked at Emily; he was confused. "Your with James again?"

"Uh, yeah." she rushed her fingers into her pockets, this was a bit awkward.

"Are you _serious_?" Carlos violently whispered. "Your, your BACK with him?"

"That's what i just said, isn't it?" She snapped, walking into the kitchen trying to get away from him.

"So, your just gonna forget everything that happened with us all because James suddenly wants you back?"He yelled.

"Carlos, stop. Nothing happened with us, alright? It was just a one time thing, leave me alone."

"A one time thing huh?" He became infuriated with her. He ran over to her. Her eyes were focused on the vegetables she was cutting for the night's dinner, he was practically screaming in her ear, yet it was in a whisper.

"Then why did you do it? Emily, look at me." Carlos pulled her jaw, her face looking at him; dead in the eyes.

"Leave it alone, alright? It was a mistake Carlos okay? Hooking up with you was a _mistake_!"

* * *

James sadly walked down the side stairs of the big gigantic house he suddenly heard Carlos' and Emily's conversation and froze.

* * *

"Then why would you hook up with me when it meant nothing to you?"

"Because Carlos, i was still in love with James at the time. Can we not do this right now?"

"Emily, your so pathetic. Of course we're going to do this right now. Cause guess what? What happened with you may have meant nothing to you, but it meant the world to me. So you wanna know what? You can take your sleazy slutty words and you can have it."

"Fine, i'll take it. Just because i hooked up with you it doesnt change my feelings for James one bit. Cause i dont love you, i love him."

"You think you love him." Carlos interjected.

"No, I know. I love you Carlos, but as a friend. That's all you'll be. _A friend_."

"Well Emily, you arent my friend. "Cause a friend wouldn't do that to another friend." His eyes were glossy, and you could see the frustration and irritation in his body language. His eyes were directly on her, and her eyes were on the food, she couldnt look him in the eye. She couldnt look him in the eye and say she didnt love him back.

She knew how much that would hurt him.

He barely had any friends, he barely had anymore. She just wanted to get this resolved, cause she wanted her friend. Not this type of Carlos, the one that is in love with her.

"I'm sorry, okay?" She looked up at him. "I'm sorry, and your right. It was stupid and pathetic of me to do that, and you have every right to be mad at me. I was just so upset and mad at myself cause of James, i didnt really tink of your feelings, and that was selfish."

Carlos looked up, astonished by her words.

"I'm sorry, i was acting like an idiot." She began playing with her fingers; a thing she always did when she was nervous. "Do you forgive me?"

"Yeah," he smiled. "Yeah, and im sorry for being such a douche bag to you." He let out a chuckle and they laughed at eachother.

"It's okay." They suddenly hugged and from the corner of her eye she saw James peeking from the edge of the stairs, looking her dead in the eyes.

"Um, ill be right back." She quickly pushed Carlos away and ran up the staircase.

* * *

Logan suddenly stumbled into the back of the schoolyard; his eyes gloomed up with a toxic red color, and barely being able to stand up, he held onto the bricks of the school. Walking to the back of the school, he suddenly saw a few of the local stoners and he suddenly knew them well.

"Hey," Logan said to the kid; his voice was nasily, he could barely speak and this is what he did. All day. This is why: he cheated. He felt like it was a way to punish himself, to hurt himself.

Holding money in his hand he looked at them. "Got anything?" He asked.

"Yeah," he said pulling out a bag of a green substance.

"You got money?"

"Yeah, i want a quarter ounce of mary," he said to himself. That was the nickname of Marijuana these days, and it helped the dealers not get caught.

"100 dollars."

Logan handed the man a one hundred bill; and the boy gave him the bag.

Logan grabbed the drugs, he knew it wasnt right. But it was better than the way he was feeling.

* * *

Kendall felt a hand on his face, he wanted his eyes to open: but the feeling of the warm hand to keep stroking his face. It was a girl's hand, he could easily tell. It wasnt firm and hard like a male's it was smooth and warm like a woman's.

"Kendall," the voice said. "Wake up." She looked at him. "Wake up." she repeated herself.

He did what he was told, and his eyes slowly fluttered open. The ceiling was all he could see but suddenly he began remembering what happened, and he suddenly sat up. Rubbing the back of his neck, he looked in front of him to see an older woman, in her mid 30s, in front of him.

Next to her, to the right of her was Rebecca, she had merely fallen asleep probably waiting for him to wake up He guessed. Though it surprised him. Why would she wait for him?

Kendall looked at her, she had his eye color. Her hair was long and blonde; sort of a dirty blonde. She looked professional, in a womanly made tuxedo she looked like she worked for a highly sophisticated office. He recorgnized her, he just couldnt fathom from where.

"Uhm, do i know you?"

"Yeah, Kendall you do. I'm your mom..."

"WHAT?" Kendall gasped, jumping up from the bed, his eyes were widely stricken with disbelief.

"Hunny calm down,"

"No! Your alive!" He screamed from the top of his lungs and thats when Rebecca woke up.

"Hun-"

"Don't hun me. I spent half of my life being beaten and bruised by my dad. Im not even sure if he IS my dad. But what makes you think that you can come in here, and call me hun, when i thought you were dead half the time."

"Kendall, please let me explain-"

"-No! You left me. You left me with him, you couldve took me with you. But you didnt!"

"I'm-"

"Get out!" He pointed to the door.

"What?" His mother gasped; jumping out of her seat.

"Nurse!" Kendall screamed and his mother became scared, frantic she looked around and ran out of the room.

Taking in a breath he looked at Rebecca.

Not even bothering to say a word, he let his hand rush through his short thick blonde hair. "Did you know she wasd my mom?"

She shook her head and Kendall looked down.

He couldnt help it.

He couldnt control it.

He closed his eyes.

And let tears fall.


	11. Stone Cold

**Didn't give her all my love,**

** I guess now I got my payback. **

**Now I'm in the club thinkin all about my baby. **

**Hey, she was so easy to love. **

**But wait, I guess that love wasn't enough. **

* * *

Kendall slowly looked at himself in the mirror; his green eyes a solid color. There was no life to them, not as there was life to them either way, he tightly gripped onto the sink in front of him.

Taking in a deep breath, his eyes closed as one solid tear left his right eyelid. Nothing felt real anymore, nothing felt sane. It was as if, he was living a lie. His touched his cheek, the degree of the burn causes his hand to easily fall away. He tried to look at himself, but he couldnt do it.

He couldnt look himself in the eye, let alone the mirror.

He left me, Kendall sorely whispered to himself. It had been a week since the fire, and he was in a foster home. A new place to live, but that only made him feel worse inside.

His eyes were a bright puffy red, and suddenly he lifted his arms to his waste, gently pulling off his ruggad red t-shirt. Sores and bruises were finally healing, but the mental scars were still there.

He looked down in the cabinet drawer from the corner of his right eye; he tried to look away. He tried to leave it alone, tried to ignore.

Don't do it, he told himself silently. Dont touch the drawer.

He was smarter than he looked. With all the woman in the foster housing, he knew a razor was somewhere.

He didnt wanna look.

He wanted to stop,

But as much as he wanted to stop, mentally he WANTED to turn off the light and drift to sleep, but he didnt have the strength. Falling to his knees, he viciously tore the drawer open, seeing nothing but bandaids and hair supplies.

He sighed of relief, what had he been doing to himself?

Running his fingers through the piled supplies, he stood to his feet.

Kendall looked to the mirror, cuts from the razor and cuts and bruises from the fire collided; is this really what his father made him out to be?

A self harmer.

Slowly putting him dirty t-shirt on, he rubbed his hands through his hair. He looked at himself, proud. Maybe this was what he needed, a place away from harm. Harm from himself. He knew that if he continued, that he would die.

Sometimes when he put that razor on his wrist, he did attempt to die. He wasnt going to lie to himself any longer, he didnt want to, but he felt like he was better off.

But then Rebecca come.

And helped him.

She dragged him out the fire without even thinking, she tried her best to save him. That astonished him.

Somehow in the back of his head, he was grateful but now: all he could think about was getting better. It was something to take his mind off of everything.

He closed his eyes, letting his brim eye shut and in a split of a second: he was asleep.

Silently his opened as his body fell to the floor and suddenly he didnt want to move.

He wanted to stay healthy and that is what made him feel so upset with himself.

He wasnt normal and he never would be.

He stretched out his muscular arms and yawned; silently looking down he closed his eyes and falling onto his butt, he softly drifted into sleep.

* * *

"James, you cant seriously be ignoring me!" Emily said next to James as they basically raced eachother to class. He didnt want be by her, and all Emily wanted to do was talk to him.

"What do you want me to do?" He stopped walking, grabbing onto her wrist, he stopped her in her tracks.

"You slept with my best friend." He softly whispered to her.

"I know," she let out a breath. "I know and i have no clue why. I was stupid and reckless and i..." She grabbed onto his neck, forcing him to look her in the eyes. "I was upset, okay? I felt so alone but when i was with him the only person i was thinking of you."

"I was upset too, but i didn't sleep with a random girl like you did." He hissed as her eyes automatically got glossy; She felt as if this was the last time they would speak. It was ecxactly how it was seven months before.

They were upset. Angry, frantic. She didnt want to loose him, and James was about to give up.

She sighed. "I. . . know."

"You know what? Just forget it. I knew it was pretty impossible to be with you anyway," she looked at her feet, about to twist her body to turn around James grabbed on her wrist. "Wait," he stopped her. "Im doing it again. I'm pushing you away."

"You have a tendancy to do that." She snobbishly responded, crossing her arms against her chest.

"Don't be mad at me, please." He begged. "I just. . . i dont know how to get close to someone without getting hurt and with you..."He wrapped his arms around her waist and quickly pulled her towards him. "You rarely hurt me and i dont know how i should react or what i should do. Everything has basically fallen apart with me, and your the only thing that keep me togethor."

She let our a soft smile but than it quickly faded. Gently putting her hands on his muscular chest she pushed him away.

"You say that...all the time." She felt his arms unwrap around her waist and the look on James' face explained his feelings.

"No, please Emily. Please believe me," he begged grabbing onto her face he kissed her forehead. "I dont wanna loose you again." One fragile tear longed down his cheek.

"You keep breaking my heart." She choked out. "I've accepted _everything _youve been through. Everything, but you cant accept me. You didnt even consider thinking about my feelings, just _yourself_."

"No, Emily dont break up with me. I know i've been a dick for the past few days. Weeks maybe. It's just. . . _i dont wanna loose you._ " Looking at her, he simply wiped away a tear as if it was nothing. "Why can't you believe me?"

"I just think...we need a break." She halfheartedly said. She wanted to break up with him, at times she did, but at times all she wanted to do was be with him. Him. She wanted to love him as the best of her abilities, but she felt like she wasnt getting that love in return.

"No!" He screamed on the top of his lungs out of anger. Her eyes widened in fear.

"NO! I'm _not_ gonna loose you again. Not in a second have i ever made you feel unloved. Never!"

"Oh, and since when have you? Gosh, i tried my best with you. I wanna love you, i wanna be with you, but you make it impossible."

He grabbed onto her shoulders_, _gently pushing her against one of the lockers; a loud bust sound coming erupting from the impact of her body weight hitting the locker. Looking her dead in the eye; he always did that when he talked to her. He looked her in the eyes. He gave her his complete attention, cause when she talked it was that only thing he could focus on.

Her eyes were stricken with fear; the look in his eyes. Theyre werent outraged, they were weirdly lovingly.

"I'm not gonna loose you again." He whispered suddenly breathing down her neck; he passionately kissed her. Letting his tongue slip into her mouth, he kissed her with as much passion and love he most possibly could. He gently wrapped his hands around her waiste, picking her up letting her cling onto his waist; they continued to kiss. Tightly holding his hands around her ass, he gently squezzed it, feeling the impact of her kissing back only made him horny.

Her hands smoothly ran down his neck, underneath his dark green t-shirt rubbing his shoulder blades as they gently sucked onto eachother's mouth.

"I love you." He breathed heavily, pulling away from the kiss for a second, he kissed her again. "And im sorry if i ever made you feel like i didnt." He said in between kisses and she kissed him back, feelings his hand run up her back. Slowly kissing at the nape of her nape, he suddenly realized what they were doing and pulled away.

"Wanna get out of here?" He flirtaciously kissed her neck. Smiling as the response of his touch she nodded in agreement and he suddenly let her down and they ran out of the schoolyard; hand in hand.

"Come here," James roughly pushed Emily against the wall as he practically ran into his house. He kissed her seductively, nipping at any sight of her skin he could see. Her legs were once again adjoined to her hip and she felt his large hands grip on her small petite figure.

She quickly pulled down the crease of his shirt; buttons popping off it as she went but neither of them cared. Gently throwing his shirt on the ground, she gently let out a moan as James continued to kiss down her neck. Pulling off her shirt in the process, she closed her eyes. Loving the feelings of him sending hot kisses down her body, she couldnt be more excited to be in the place she was in.

Running her fingers up his muscular chest, she suddenly saved the mental imagine in front of her.

James smiled into the kiss; happy that what he had been waiting for what about to happen. He was going to love her. Literally.

Emily reopened her eyes, feeling a red mark suddenly rise of her chest she smiled to herself, his kisses felt so good on her skin.

James picked her up; carrying her until the reached the couch when he suddenly unbuckled his belt. She licked her lips, unzipping them she pulled his pants straight down to his ankles, showing him in nothin but boxers.

She grabbed onto his neck, causing him to fall onto of her he kissed her ever yet so passionately. Filled with lust and love he suddenly was playing as the dominant role.

She bit onto his bottom lip when she suddenly felt his hands tightly pull down her booty shorts as he sucked on her neck. Going lower, he gently began sending kisses onto her stomach and sometimes inbetween her breasts.

Letting her fingers unhook her bra, it suddenly fell to the floor leaivng her in nothing put her panties. Kissing down her chest, he suddenly felt pleasure in her screaming nothing but his name. Whispering nothings in her ear, his boxers suddenly fell to the floor.

"Just do me already," she bit her lip feeling him pull away her panties; he suddenly began thrusting his hips into hers. Going deeper and deeper in, she began screaming more and more loudly as the orgasm continued.

Going as fast as he could; he suddenly shifted himself to please her and sweat began to form.

His fingers ran up and down her body and all he simply did was admire her mouths pressed against each other.

He was going to lose it soon, but there was no way he was going down without Emily. He adjusts himself to please her; he was now on the brink of giving in, but he pushes on, listening to her noises of appreciation. "Ohh, Emily," the scream ripped from his lungs as he finally gave into the release he was begging for, "Emily..." he says quietly one more time before rolling off of her. Panting heavily, he grazes his attention beside him to the woman that was curled up tightly to his side. She was so goddamn beautiful and sexy. Her body was perfect; she didn't have an ounce of fat in any of the wrong places, but curves in all the right places. Her hair was messy and her skin glistens in the moonlight. He closes his eyes and takes in the moment, pretending to be asleep so she wouldn't notice he was watching her.

* * *

The next morning, Carlos slowly slid out of bed. His hair was a mess and he had an agonizing feeling of comfort. His eyes adjusted to the light and realizing it was 7:02 he jumped up as fast as he could. "Shit, im late for school!" He said to himself, running around his room trying to find clothes. A knock on the door frightend him, and he suddenly squealed.

"IM GETTING CHANGED!"

The door opened anyway, and Kiara walked in. She quickly covered her eyes and screamed, unaware of the shirtless boy. "OH MY! Im sorry!" She turned around facing the door. "Im sorry, i just.. oh lord. We dont have school today, okay?" She said and suddenly slammed the door.

"Uhm..okay..." he said suddenly throwing his clothes on the ground, he fell onto his bed falling asleep.

* * *

Kendall nonchalantly scanned around the room, trying his best to get used to the feelings of being able to do something freely. Standing up, he suddenly felt a fragile figure bump into him.

"Oh, im sorry!" He dusted off the girl, looking up back his smile faded.

"Rebecca?"

Her eyes widened, why was he here?

"Uhm, Kendall! Hi," she shyly said gently shoving past the boy she suddenly went into the breakfast line. Kendall suddenly followed.

"So, what are you doing here?" He asked curiously, she didnt look like anyone else here. She had much fancier clothing here, and she looked like she was just brushing through for a visit.

"I...I live here." She stared at the ground and Kendall blinked for a second.

"Wait, you do?" He stopped her, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He sincerely never would've guessed that someone like her lived her. She was popular, actually a CLASSY popular girl, and she was so..nice and generous. I guess he shouldnt of guessed a book by a cover, eh?

"Yeah," she tugged on the ending of her sleeve covering her mouth.

The foodline went on. People walked on and on finally entering the actual line Kendall bit his lip. It seemed like a sensitive topic for her.

"But like, you _seriously _live here?" He repeated, following her to a table.

She annoyingly rolled her eyes, slamming her tray on the table top, she looked at him. Guarding herself.

"Yes Kendall. I live here."

He was astonished. "But, _why?_"

She looked up at Kendall; avoiding the question she said a simple statement. "Long story."

Kendall nodded to himself, she was stubborn. Just like him. It would take everything in the complete world for him to trust someone to tell his story, he guessed the same with her.

"Look Rebecca, i know it sucks. It's hard. But you seem like you dont wanna even be here in the first place. I mean, i dont wanna be here either but can you at least. . . tell me why?"

"I cant." She spoke up. "As much as i want to, i cant. They wont let me. And i know i helped you and everything and you probably wanna get to know me better, but it'd be better if you didnt." She suddenly took out a bite of her breakfast sandwhich; leaves suddenly got stuck in her teeth and she suddenly brushed them off.

"Why do you say that?" His eyes narrowed on her.

"Cause its the truth, Now if you excuse me. I would like to enjoy my breakfast please." Her eyes were glossy; so glossy it made Kendall want to cry himself. He decided to leave it alone.

"Sorry, i'll see ya round?" He hopefully asked.

"Maybe."

* * *

James and Emily walked in the school happily. His hand was securely wrapped around her waste as a long chaste kiss was pressed on her cheek. She smiled and blushed and as she walked past a couple of girls loud giggles erupted from them and she frowned.

Where they laughing at her?

She quickly shook it off, but as soon as they walked into the auditorium and all eyes looked at her. She awkwardly looked around and she automatically saw Elizabeth handing our flyers.

"Hi James," Elizabeth winked pushing past Emily. "I think your girlfriend needs this," she bit her lip giving Emily a disgusted look. She handed James a ad for obese woman; Emily always has struggled with her weight. Mostly because of Elizabeth; Elizabeth always teased her calling her fat and ugly ever since the second grade. No one really understood how badly the bullying affected her; which is why she developed an eating disorder."She's looking a big heavy." Turning to Emily, Elizabeth knew she had won when she could see the weakness in Emily's eyes. "I mean," she scoffed. "Look at her! Why are you with that pig? Such a waste of a human life." She let out a small laugh, shaking her head shamelessly at the emotional girl.

Emily looked at the ground, starting to get teary eyed she pushed past both of them. "I'll be back." She ran out of auditorium before James could even defend her.

* * *

Logan trotted into the Nurse's office. Agressively wearing a blue and black eye he pouted.

"What happened now?" The nurse rolled her eyes, Logan had been in the nurse's office several times this week.

The security guard angrily pushed Logan into a chair; Logan was getting out of control.

"We caught him beating up a freshman behind the school." The officer stated.

"Logan!" The nurse screamed furiously. "Wha...Why would you do that?"

"He started it." Logan quickly came to his own defense.

"Logan," the nurse leaned forward; extremely worried. "You were always a straight A student, even with you dyslexixa. What has gotton into you? Is it drugs?""

"It's called growing up." Logan rushed his fingers through his hair. His played off his feelings off as it he could care less of what anyone said. He didn't know truly what had gotton into him; he just felt like since he hadnt felt apreciated that much lately. He felt that hey, drugs could take that hurt away. So much things had been stressing him out, he was doing drugs on top of that he was failing half his class and ON TOP of that he had been avoiding Katelyn. Cheating on her made it so hard to look at her; he knew that he was hurting him by not talking to her, but hey! As long as it kept the truth from coming out he would be alright, right?"

Split personalities was what it was. Drugs had altered his way of thinking. He didn't want to believe it, but he was acting like a complete different person. One second he would be perfect. Nothing would affect, than another second an hallucination would alter his eyes and his way of thinking.

"Logan, this is not-"

"Not what? Gosh, can't you just leave me alone?" He spat, becoming more upset and angry by the second.

"Logan, we didn't want to do this but we are going to have to do a drug test on you."

"WHAT?" Logan jumped out of his seat. "You can't do that!"

"Logan, yes we can. And we will. This is getting out of control."

"But-"

"Come with me." The officer forcefully grabbed Logan's wrists, putting handcuffs around them.

"This is bullshit." Logan scoffed to himself, what he would do for a hit right now.

* * *

Emily started crying, wiping her salty tears away with the back of her hands. She numbly sat in one of the school's public bathroom sitting against one of the cold-tiled casted her eyes down and away, playing with the hem of the long sleeved sweatshirt.

Elizabeth and her had been friends from as long as she could remember, but then high school came along and Elizabeth became popular and suddenly, she was the shadow..she got called pudgy and useless many times before by past boyfriends, always making reference to her oh- so perfect best friend, and that's when she began to take matters in her own hands.

Those words rang in her ears like poison, playing like a beat-down record. Over and over and over again, it played. She gripped the sides of her body, shaking her head from side to side; it was like she was going insane.

She tried her best to ignore the words that Elizabeth said about her being fat and ugly and worthless but she just couldnt help herself.

Letting the tears soak her satin sweatshirt, she honestly wanted to just die already. Just kill herself so she would make everyone else happy. The thoughts went in and out of her mind.

Take a person out of their misery, why wont you?

She firmly closed her brim eyes, taking in a deep breath. Her eyes were puffy and red from the lack of sleep, her skin was a sickly palish blue, and cheeks were so sharply gaunt.

Slowly falling asleep; she suddenly heard someone speak to her. A tall blonde boy, with a near deep voice asked a question.

"Hey, are you okay?" Kendall asked. Frightened is what he felt when he looked at her. He was looking at a spitting image of himself and he suddenly got chills.

She looked up, shaking her head. "No, no im not." Sniffling, she wiped away tears from the frame of her face.

Kendall let out a long brief sigh. Dusting off his pants he sat next to her. "Wanna talk about it?" He gently asked not wanting to force her to talk about it. He could see how fragile she looked and it possibly was how he looked a few times in his life. "If it's okay with you, i don't wanna pressure you-"

"-No, its okay." She interjected. "I just. . . haven't been having a good day today." She sighed.

He let out an awh. "What's wrong?"

She cleared her head and tried to think of a way to speak without crying. "This girl called me fat today. And useless. And said i looked like a pig."

"Woah," Kendall cleared his throat. "Dude, that's not right." He said and she looked at his feet.

"Yeah,"

Kendall felt bad. He wanted to make her feel better but he had never been in this situation. "Well, I, as your friend, want to let you know that she is completely wrong."

"You think so?" She smiled.

"Yeah, I mean. Most of the girls here are so fake and plastic, it makes no sense to be competing with eachother. Your gourgeous and pretty in your own way. Whoever is making you feel bad obviously has to be jealous." He smiled and she let out a giggle.

"Oh shut up," she smiled.

"It's true." He said and seeing her smile made him feel like he was making progress. She looked like she was about to explode when he first saw her.

"It's been happening so much though. The bullying has got to me so much. Affected me in such a big way and i don't know how to deal with it sometimes..."

"Oh well, if you ever need someone to talk you, im here."

"Thanks." She smiled, and he gently wrapped his arms around her waiste, hugging her tightly.


	12. Love is unstoppable

**So lay here**

** beside me, **

**just hold me **

**and don't let go **

**This feeling I'm feeling is something I've never known**

** And I just can't take my eyes off you **

"Emily," James sighed of relief seeing her at his doorstep the next day. Pulling her into a hug, he almost began to cry. "Why'd you run off like that? You scared me to death!" He whispered in her ear and she couldn't help but feel guilty for some reason. Gulping, she hugged him back. She needed a way to tell him about her disorder before it came out in a fight or something that would ruin there relationship, but that is what she thought.

He pulled away from her; she was tensed up in a unusual way. The way she looked and acted it sort of worried him.

"Are you okay?" He asked, touching her cheek, Stroking it gently.

She shook her head back and forth, "No. . . I'm not." Backing away from James for a second she tiredly sat down on the porch. She could easily feel him sit beside her as her eyes stared at the concrete. "I've been hiding something from you. . . and I think it's time i told you what it is. . . Cause you don't deserve to be lied to."

"Lied to?" He frowned. "Emily, What's going on?"

He was upset, Emily noticed. He had the right to be upset, though he probably assumed it was something worse than it was.

She deeply breathed. It took her so much energy and strength to admit her problem.

"After we broke up...Elizabeth started...she..." She closed her eyes; All she could hear were the echoes of Elizabeth's evil words and that made a tear fall. Wiping it away, she felt pathetic. All she basically did was cry half the time. It made her feel like all she is here in this world to be hurt. Battered and bruised by words full of hate."...She always called me names always called me fat and ugly and one day i just. . . stopped eating."

"Stopped eating... are you- are you saying you _starved yourself?"_ His whispered; Nothing could amount to how his heart basically just shattered over the concrete cement porch.

"Yeah," she cried. "Yeah, i did. And i have no clue why. I just felt so low about myself... i wanted to die..." She cried, feeling James yank on her hips, she suddenly fell onto his lap.

The heat in his cheeks was blazing hot and she knew he was probably going to scold her. "Emily, You are so..._beautiful._ So smart and amazing and intelligent and funny and sweet and smart and gourgeous and sexy...I could go on." She looked directly at him and his warm, strong muscular arms wrapped around her. "I won't _ever_ let anything happen to you, alright?" He kissed her cheek and she nodded, feeling numb. He was the only person that actually made her feel worth something. Most of the times she just sulked at home feeling depressed. The only thing that made her happy even for a second was James.

"I'm gonna help you get through this, okay?" He whispered feeling him gently rock her back and forth holding her.

"Yeah," she felt goosebumps rise as she suddenly heard the clicking of heels walk up to the door. Her eyes stood on the person's feet suddenly zooming to the person's face she looked back onto the ground.

"Aw Emily, is someone getting broken up with?" Elizabeth sneered focusing on her.

"Elizabeth, leave. Now." He strictly said looking at the girl with disgust.

"Oh no. I'm gonna stay. I followed the pig here for a reason." She gracefully rolled the insult off her tongue as it was the easiest thing in the world.

Emily stayed silent; burying her face into James' chest she hugged him tightly; praying that he would come to her defense.

James looked at the girl, giving her a bitter look her cleared his throat. "You mean yourself right?" He sarcastically replied. Seeing Elizabeth's reaction he smiled to himself. "Cause honestly, if she's a pig than man. You must be. . . a cow."

"E...Excuse me? Are you seriously talking to me?" She gasped to herself. "Cause obviously you need to get your eyes checked."

"Nah, im straight. Obviously you need to get your head checked. If you want to sit there and call Emily, the girl who i love, a pig than wow. That shows how much respect you have for youself." He gently thumbed Emily's head up only to see a smile spread across her face. She was impressed.

"For your information Maslow, I have respect for myself. Its your girlfriend that doesnt." She blankly responded.

"Oh really? Says the girl that sleeps with a guy to make her feel pretty." James stood up; looking the girl in her eyes. "Yaknow, the difference between you and Emily is that she actually has a heart." He crossed his arms against his chest; seeing her lips tense. "You on the otherhand, your just a _cold hearted bitch_ who causes people to feel shitty about themselves when actually your the one hurting. So you can either leave her alone or your gonna regret ever talking to her in the first place." He let a slick smile and a smirt rub off his face.

She clearly didnt like that.

"You know what i dont need this-"

"-Than why didnt you come here?" His eyebrows furrowed. "Leave. We dont want you here." He gave her a snobby wave to her face. "Bye." He said and she huffed to herself. "Whatever," she rolled her eyes. "I dont give to shits about you guys." She angrily snapped turning her back quickly running back into her car.

James proudly waved to her; seeing her flip them off as she drove away.

James turned around automatically feeling Emily's hands wrap around his neck as his body crashed onto his. "Thank you." She whispered into the hug. He caressed her cheeck leaning his forehead on hers. "No one ever stood up for me like that." She smiled feeling his lips crash onto hers. Her arms wrapped around her shouldblades as he protectively held her in his arms. He kissed her precisely. A perfect amount of love and relief that nothing bad had happened to her. He loved her with everything in him, and knowing she felt the same way made him more passionate about this girl.

"A-Hem." The sound of someone clearing their throat caused the couple to pull away. James' cheeks flushed. "Mom, what are you doing here?"

* * *

"Dinner was delicious, Mom. Thanks for having me over." Emily complimented when she finished her plate of food.

"Don't call me mom." Cathy, James' mother bitterly snapped causing Emily to feel out of place.

"Mom, please." James begged, his mother resented Emily for some strange reason.

"No James, she lost the right to that a long time ago." She gave Emily a disgusted look and Emily sadly kept her eyes on the ground. Cathy blamed Emily for his past depression. Which was because of the rape. She got some ridiculous story in her head that Emily cheated on him, which definitly never happened.

Cathy suddenly snatched Emily's plate out of her hand, staring her down.

Emily and James exchanged looks and James encouraged her to help with the dishes.

"Would you like some help?" Emily offered as she eyed her plate and stood up.

"Oh, no, I think would rather have you just leave." Cathy bitterly replied. "I mean, James." She threw the plate in the sink throwing her hands up in the air. "Why are even with her! She has done nothing but caused you pain!"

"Pain? Your serious, right?" James asked, trying to hold back a laugh. "How has she caused me pain?" He threw his hands against his chest. "You havent even BEEN here to even notice my prescense, and you wanna judge our relationship. Please mom, stop being so melodramatic."

Cathy looked at James' in shock. "Are you SERIOUSLY talking to me that way!"

"Are YOU seriously talking to my GIRLFRIEND that way? Mom look at yourself."

Maybe I do need a reality check, Cathy thought and looked at herself from her feet and up. "I'm sorry." She felt bad, well like 1 percent of that im sorry was true. She didnt really care about his opinion, she was paying the bills. Not him. She had the right to tell him who he could and could not date.

"I really dont want apologies right now. Cmon Emily, lets go to my room." He grabbed her hand and they slowly made a way up the stairs in less than a few seconds.

Emily closed the door letting out a big sigh. "She hates me." She blew out a breath, a strand of hair flying out of her face.

James got a bad feeling inside of him. Rushing over to her he grabbed her hand even though she barely moved when she saw him. "Babe, dont feel that way." He smiled planting a kiss on her cheek. "It doesnt matter to me. My whole family could hate you and i'd still love you." He reassured her.

She slowly smiled. "Thanks." She walked away from the door basically collapsing onto his bed she looked up at the ceiling. "Why didnt you tell your mom?" She suddenly wondered. It was pretty obvious to Emily that the rape was the whole reason for the small arguement downstairs.

"Tell my mom what?"

She slowly sat up, her hair loosely falling around the frame of her face. "You know. . . " She said and she saw the change in James' mood almost automatically. Referring to the rape, James put down the clothes he was folding and sat down on the bed facing her perfectly.

"I dont know. . . I just never felt comfortable around her..." He halfheartedly thought and James laid on his bed looking at the ceiling. "He took everything from me," he said automatically covering his face as he felt tears come.

Emily protectively wrapped her legs around his waiste sitting on his lap. "Don't cry." She kissed his temple. "Your too beautiful to cry." She said hugging him. Her head fallen on his chest, hearing the steady beat of his heart made her all the more relaxed. His fingers linterlaced with hers and thats all that was said. He let his guard down. For the final time with her. She had helped him dodge every bullet so far and he decided it was time. It was time for the truth. The story of what happened a few months ago at the boardwalk on his way home from work. He tried to sit up but the weight of her body caused him to be stuck in the position. He didnt complain though.

His let one hand hold hers and the other stroked the strands of her hair. Her soft silky hair running through his big warm fingers made everything more still and calm. More comforting.

He wanted it to be simple; like in the movies. Whether they got over the struggle and stayed togethor forever. But this wasnt the movies. It wasnt that simple.

"Can I..." He breathed deeply letting a long pause before he finished his sentence. "C-Can I, Can I tell you something?" He said feeling accmplished as the sentence left his mouth. Every single ounce of pain and hurt and just complete fear had returned whenever he thought about what had happened. He hated remembering it. He just wanted to remember it and forget about it but he realized that he just wanted to ignore it.

"Anything," She responded, tightly gripping onto the collar of his dark red plaid shirt. She loved his arms around her. It gave her a place to call home. A place where she felt safe, like nothing was going to hurt her. Like everything was going perfect yet it only took a second to make her feel this way. Kissing his jaw line and gently nestled her head into his chest.

"I want to tell you about the time i was..._raped_." He said about to choke up.

She tightly held onto him, giving him a reminder that it was a reminder that it was over. That nothing he could do would take him back to that day and that he was here. With her. Not at the boardwalk. That was something he always did.

"R-Really?" She stuttered the cool breeze of the fall wind flowing through her clothes, giving her goosebumps.

James felt the rise of her skin and grabbed a blanket and wrapped it around them. "Yeah," He said. He had been with her for so long, he trusted her with every ounce of faith in him and he had never really explained what happened to her or anyone in that matter. He hadnt really got into deep thought about it himself but she just made it easier to think about. Knowing that as soon as the nightmare was over he could wake up to her. A place where bad dreams didnt occur, only good dreams did.

She stayed silent and looked up at him. Grabbing the covers of the blanket, she pulled it over her shoulder and put it over James body too, making him nestle closer to her.

"The day was the worst day of my life... and..." He sighed. "I think you deserve to know."

She squeezed his hand.

"I was walking home..."

_Walking down the boardwalk off the coast of the abandened beach, James stuffed his firsts deep into the pockets of her jacket. His mind hazy of thing going through her head. He was happy. Walking back to his house getting ready to go home and do his homework since junior year of high school was almost ending. _

_"Whats a pretty boy like you doing alone?" A voice from behind came forwards as James turned arund, his eyes landing on a guy dressed in black; his face uncovered._

_James felt goosebumps rise on his skin. He had never seen a guy before and the way he greeted him only made him feel more and more uncomfortable. A sign in his head made him want to run away as soon as he could but it body just wouldnt move. It stayed there. It felt like he was paralyzed._

"He said, whats a pretty boy like you doing alone' and I…" He tightly grasped his arms around her crying into her shoulder. "I can hear him perfectly in the back of my head saying it…" He said his voice getting high cause of how emotional he was. His head buried into her shoulder as the tears leaked from his eyes. Its okay, he thought to himself. Its okay to cry. Sniffling, he tried his best to speak.

_Gulping, James backed away slowly. "Thinking. . ." He slowly answered, his heart pounding inside his chest. Ready to burst out any passing second._

"It wasnt what he said that made me this way... but how could be do that to me?" He shook his head back and forth feeling better as each tear fell.

_"Got any thought on how you're going to run away from me?" He smirked as James widened his eyes, opening his mouth to respond when the man took him into his arms, his hand covering his mouth._

"I tried so hard to get away.. his hands covered my mouth and he looked at me. Saying to me, "Got any thoughts of how your going to get away from me?' I mean, how could he? I could still feel the leather gloves he used on my mouth. . . I wanted to be somewhere else. " He cried. "I wanted to be somewhere. I was praying that someone would pop out of at least SOMEWHERE to come and save me but… no one did."

_Kicking his feet and fists, James began to panic as the guy threw her him against a metal pole keeping her form faling on the sand a few feet away from boardwalk._

_Pinning him down, the man began slavaging in her pockets when he pulled out his wallet; grinning to himself._

"I could still see that disgusting evil smile on his face. The way he knew he was going to get what he wanted. . . " He suddenly became quiet, quietly sobbing and that made Emily start to tear up.

"He looked so happy. . . and that fucking made me feel even worse. That he got pleasure out of it. . ." His eyes became red and all he could feel were Emily's arms wrapped around him. She held him as tight as she could only listening, telling him to calm down would make it worse.

_"You sick bastard!" James spit in his face, only the feel the man's fist pounding against his skull. Him blacking out._

"I can feel his fists beating on my head they just wont stop. Fist after fist and I just couldnt even see. Everything went black! And all i heard was him panting and he seemed so determined. . . I just wanted him to kill me already. To just take our a knife and stab me in the heart already! But before i knew it, i woke up i was in the beach water and i had nothing on. . ."

He closed his eyes for a few seconds.

"I just hate that day so much." He said letting out his last sniffle he looked at Emily and she looked at him. Grabbing his face, she kissed him passionately. He kissed her back and she pulled away seeing saliva come from her mouth as she pulled away. "James look at me," She brushed her fingers through his hair. "Whoever did that to you. . . they arent as strong as you." She said getting teary eyed. "They arent as beautiful as since i met you, you have always have been so strong. And for this to happen to you and you still be strong. . . your _beautiful._"

She stroked his cheek so gently and perfectly leaving a lingering sensation.

Did she really call him beautiful?

"Emily, your so far feched. I am not beautiful. I'm just me." He looked away from her, shaking his head a bit angry. He wasnt beautiful, he thought. He was a wreck.

"Look at me . . ." Emily said her voice soft.

He looked back at her. "Your so beautiful to me. Every single thing about you makes me a better person. You make me feel pretty, smart and worth something. Ive never felt that before and you sit here telling me everything that happened. . . _thats being beautiful_. And i couldnt be more happy to say i fell in love with you." She ran her fingers over his ears, which she was sure, were red.

James was infactuated. He pressed a kiss to her neck. _"I love you so much."_ He whispered, a tear of happiness falling. "I dont ever want to loose you." He said and pulled her into a amorous hug.

"I love you. . . _more." _She whispered in his ear, kissing the soft spot underneath his ear, making him smile. The lingering sensation of her lips on him, made him only fall more and more in love with her.


	13. Drowning

_How are you supposed to keep going when everything else has stopped? Because you can scream as loud as you can but that doesn't mean anyone will hear you..._

James looked around his room. Emily had drifted asleep and he was just locked with his thoughts. As much as he wanted to wake her up he didn't. He looked outside his bedroom window and saw Carlos walking down the street. His hands in his pockets and most likely coming to his house. His eyebrows furrowed when he realized Carlos walked into his house. He hadn't been at home for awhile.

* * *

Carlos zipped up his jacket as he walked into his old house. He couldn't call it his, it was a boarding house that he always snuck into whenever he needed a place to stay. It was deserted now. He had the sweetest sadness in his eyes. Determined, he walked into a place he called his room and looked under the bedroom. It was still there. Carlos heaved the packed cardboard boxes towards the corner of the room. His strength faltered and the heavy box toppled out of his hands. "Shit." He muttered and rubbed the contours of his hand roughly and his chocolate orbs blazed at the mess scattered in front of him.

He kneeled down and scraped up the scattered papers that fleeted out of the box. His eyes scanned over the torn pages and messy handwriting.

"It's still here. . ." He said to himself and he looked into the box and found small gifts, notebooks upon notebooks, and old photo frames of him and his mom when he was younger—his teen years, her arms draped around him and he let a sighful smile frame his face.

It had been here for almost three years Carlos stunningly thought.

His soft chocolate orbs caught sight of one of the notebooks; his mom's big bubbly handwriting sprawled across the page in dark purple ink.

He blinks rapidly, the tears collecting at the brim of his eyes. His lids slip close and the first tear rolls down his cheeks, a soft sob rolling from the back of his throat. He's cracked. His head falls into his hands, clutching at his face and another sob rips through the silence, bouncing off the walls.

Why can't she just love me? He thought to himself. Why can't she be normal? Why can't she realize he stuck up for her?

So many emotion's ran through the latino's head. Everyday when he wasn't taking care of Anna or either studying thoughts of his mother ran through his head.

He was sixteen the day he was kicked out, now the days were embarking until his eighteenth birthday.

"Carlos?" James voice come from behind him and Carlos jumped. Wiping away his tears. Standing to his feet, he looked at him. Not saying a word.

"A-Are you okay?" James asked, his voice hoarse. He didn't know what to say. His best friend was crying. What was he supposed to do?

"No." Carlos shook his head. "No im not." He automatically covered his face, a sob escaping his throat. He suddenly froze when he felt James' arm wrap around him, giving him an awkward hug he sighed.

"Its okay." He said.

Carlos suddenly fell to his knees, James basically flew out of his arms and Carlos screamed. "GET OUTTA HERE OKAY?" He yelled and James could see how upset he was.

"Carlos please..."

"NO. just go!"

* * *

Kiara loosely felt her head. It was hot i mean she was BURNING UP. She hadnt felt good for a few days and was exhaustingly waiting in the doctor's office.

The doctor gave her a few tests and checked her stomach since she WAS pregnant after all.

"Kiara... We have to tell you something..." He looked uncertainly sorry for the eighteen year old girl.

"What it is?" She asked, her voice horase of worry. Let the baby be okay.. she thought. Let it be the flu or something, she hoped.

"I'm sorry to say...that the pain in your stomach in the withdrawal symptons of..." He looked at her, both of them glossy eyed. "A...a.. miscarriage."

She rubbed her hands over her face and sighed. She knew this would happen; she just didn't want to admit to herself that it did. She didnt say a word, she just closed her eyes and let the tears pour from her choked as the tears slipped down her face. Her arms shakily wound around her body as she wrapped her knees in her chest.

* * *

"Kiara!" Kiara's mother screamed at the top of her lungs as she walked into the house past midnight.

Only half than a second later, Carlos opened the door, looking teary eyed and as much of a mess as Kiara was.

"CARLOS? Wha... What are you doing out so late? You weren't out with Kiara were you?" She looked, and almost melted as Carlos fell through the floor.

"No, we weren't." As soon as Carlos said that he could see the vil and disgust look her mother gave Kiara and stuttered. "I mean! Not as first and then we saw eachother at the mall and hung out... right Kiara?" He nudged her to go along with it.

"Er..yeah YEAH we were!" She faked enthusiasm.

"Oh well, good. At least you weren't with that one boy."

"Mom!" She cut her mother off, already annoyed. "I'm not even with him, so just SHUT UP okay?" She cussed underneath her breath, crossing her hands against her chest. "You dont know SHIT about me, so stop acting like you do." She pushed past her mom, and ran up the stairs.

Her jaw dropped, and gave Carlos a look.

"Dont ask me. Im going to bed." He halfheartedly lied, and made his way up the stairs.

* * *

Carlos walked into his bedroom, he looked at the crib Anna laid in. Her overgrown body was too big for it. He laughed at the sight of her snuggled up in a blue blanket he had given her hours before. She had always been a good sleeper, and he adored that about her.

He stretched out his long arms, the latino huskily taking off his jacket he looked at his little sister. It was funny, he smiled as he thought. He felt more like a dad than a brother. He felt good about it though. That he didnt have to walk around in the cold, hearing Anna cry from the cold. The ice. They were home. Found a place where everything can simply... be at peace. He opened his pocket, a half burnt picture was in Carlos' hand. His eyes widened when he saw it.

When he went to take house earlier, he let out everything.

Let out all of the endless guilt he felt for his mom.

Let out every loss feelings he felt. How much he missed her but he dedicated it was time. Time to let her go.

So he went to that house, burned everything. EVERYTHING. Every notebook that was in that box, every picture. Every last memory of his mother. It was a mixture of giving up, and simply moving on. He couldnt live his life praying and wishing for his mom to come back, when in reality, he never had a mother. He never had someone to tuck him in at night, or wish him a good day at school. He never had any of it.

He let go. Let out all the frustrations and fears. All the anxiety. All the tears came out. It was the last time though, he wasnt gonna cry. He was proud to say that. To say, i came live life again. I can GET RID of this BIG WEIGHT that lied on his shoulders ever since he took Anna and left. He was proud of himself. He was happy.

He was...Carlos.

Carlos walked closer to the crib, rubbing the side of Anna's temple. His little sister looked so adorable. Anna slowly began fidgeting a bit but the only thing she did was grasp onto Carlos' thumb. Her eyes didnt open. She didnt make a sound. She just held onto her brother, the little child giving the grown boy the reassurance that everything woild be okay.

Carlos felt another smile plaster his face, he grabbed her by her hips, pulling her into his arms, he held the sleeping baby in his arms. He looked around the room, happy the bed wasnt taken. He kicked his shoes off his feet, and gently held the baby girl in his arms.

He ran his hands underneath the cold fabric of the bended blankets, and roughly pushed them over, giving him space for his body to lay down. He layed down, adjusted Anna so he was comfortable, closed his eyes and felt..safe.

The small child gave him an idea that normalcy existed.

* * *

Logan coldly looked around the white room. The feelings of being stuck here made him want to bottle up in a ball and cry. He wasnt addicted to drugs. He got good grades, did everything he was supposed to. Just because drugs made him forget about everything every once in awhile didnt mean he was a drug addict, or did it?

Logan felt his parents push his luggage behind him. The door slamming behind them, the loud bust of the doorhinge creating a loud echo that made the rest of the room feel dark. He slumped into the bed he was given. He couldnt really THINK of how his parents would SEND him to a rebahilitation center. He just thought...drugs helped.

He didnt realize that drugs caused him to push Katelyn away. Sadly, he forgot about her. He he loved her. Or at he THOUGHT he did. But eventually she forgot about him. Moved on. Moved away, and found someone else. He didnt actually REALIZE how much it hurt him, until he was here. In this room. No drugs. No friends. No Katelyn. Just him.

Just Logan. Just me, he thought. Just the same dumb dyslexic kid who could never figure out how to count to three right. He said to himself through his thoughts.

Im Logan. A kid that could never play basketball in gym cause i could never see the scoreboard straight.

I could never go to the movies without needing helping.

I can never do anything...right.

He didn't cry. Which Logan was surpised, he sent SO MANY hateful words everyday. Every second a kid picked on him he ran into the bathroom and shut his eyes. Wanting tears to fall, they never came.

He didnt understand why but he didnt really care.

He liked not crying.

It gave him a way to look at himself and say, You havent broke down yet. Your doing well.

Though those words were just driving him into the wrong direction. He though that JUST because he didnt spend his night crying himself to sleep, he was normal. The feelings enraged inside of his body were normal. How he wanted to just be FREE and smart. Normal.

Thats all anyone wants to be. Normal.

But, he was born with a diagnosis. Dyslexia.

Dyslexia. How he HATED being judged for it. He got glares from the nerds, beat up by the populars, and got fake 'i love you' from his parents.

All he wanted was love.

And he never got it.

Never got it.

He ran his fingers through his short black hair he looked at his bed and scanned across the room. This was his home, for now he guessed.

He guessed.

Never came up with a solid answer cause he wasnt sure if it was right. He always doubted himself.

Such a pity.

The boy never leaned how to love.

* * *

Rebecca pulled the sash tighter around her waist when she heard the doorbell ring. The pizza delivery guy was early. She grabbed a twenty from her purse and headed to the door. Usually, she could smell the pizza before reaching the door, but this time there was nothing. She looked through the peep hole and was surprised to see Kendall.

She cautiously opened the door a crack. "What are you doing here?" She asked quietly.

"Can I come in? It's kind of cold out." Kendall asked as he purposely rubbed his arms and shivered.

"Why should I? How did you even found my part of this place?" She closed her door behind her and she slowly stepped outside. Shivering in less than a second, she gave him a bittersweet look. "You better leave." She cautiously looked back at the house, making sure no one was watching her.

"No." He shook his head. "I-I." His lip quivered. "I wanna thank you formally for helping you."

She scoffed. "Helping you? Your in a foster home." She gave him a took and tightly held herself.

"Well its better than where i used to live."

"I wish i could say that." She rolled her eyes and accidently widened her eyes when she realized she blurted out what she was thinking.

Kendall's eyebrows furrowed. "Why do you say that?"

"It doesnt matter okay? Ive gotta get home. Just..leave me alone and never come back here, okay!" She loudly whispered at him and she ran inside the house, scared. She abruptly slammed the door and Kendall stood their stunned.

He walked to the door, softly knocking on the door.

Rebecca rolled her eyes, and ran back to the door.

Alright . . ." She opened the door wider and let him in. She slowly turned to him. "Uhm, have a seat on the couch or something. Do you want anything to drink?" She asked and walked into the kitchen to keep herself occupied.

She nervously tugged on the sleeves of her sweater and kept looking behind her.

A look in her eye gave Kendall the idea to get the hell out of their but he didnt live there. If he felt THIS scared just SITTING here, how did SHE feel LIVING here?

"Why do you look like that?"

Rebecca suddenly tightened up. "Looking like what?"

"Scared."

Rebecca suddenly covered half of her face as her elbow laid as a resting place as she leaned against the cold, glass stained counter.

"It's nothing..." She bit her lip. "Its nothing." She lied.

Kendall scanned her up and down.

Why did he feel like he was looking at himself?

"Rebecca...do you wanna...get outta here for a few minutes? Go get something to eat?"

She turned down his nice gesture by putting her guard up. "I don't trust you."

Kendall felt insulted. "What does _that_ mean?" He gave her a dirty look.

"I dont know you okay? Its that simple."

She lied again.

How much she would BEG for time away from this house. How she would love to run away and go get something to eat with him with the tall bulky looking boy. She wanted to get away for a second, a minute at least. She felt trapped.

Trapped in this house.

"Please?" He asked and she gave him a look. Her eyes glossy as can be. He actually wanted her to come.

"I wish i could." She ran her fingers through her hair. "If i could i would. Believe me."

Kendall slowly got off the couch, and began walking closer to her. "What's stopping you?"

Rebecca criticized his movements carefully. The way he walked, the way he talked, and the way he gently put his hand next to hers. He didn't want to hurt her. She looked up at Kendall then back at the counter. "Just..some stuff." She hoarsely responded.

"Well, I can get your mind off of it if you want. Theres a Starbucks, even a Subway, behind this junk of a foster home. We can get food and come back..." He put his hand on the counter it was slowly moving towards her hand. "If you want..." He sighed and began rubbing his thumb around her knuckle.

"I wont hurt you. I promise."

She looked up at him, inside she wanted to smile but on the outside she was begging for tears not to fall form her eyes.

"I know..."

"So, lets go."

"I can't." She coldly said. "I said i wasnt going to go, so just shut up and leave me alone, alright!" She screamed.

Kendall eased back. "Im sorry." He honestly said. "I didnt mean to upset you."

"Just..leave."

Kendall did what he was told, and ran out of the apartment complex they shared. Well the room, i should say.

He knew she was scared. He knew someone was wrong. He wanted to know what it was. He wanted to love her. Care for her. Save her from whatever was hurting her.

* * *

Rebecca gasped loudly, wrapping her arms around herself. Tears began falling from her face. No one had asked her to leave before. But if she DID leave the house, she wouldve rana way as fast as she could. Run and leave. Leave this town. Leaving everything behind.

Except Kendall.

She suddenly froze.

Rebecca felt her body tense up with fear as she heard the rumble of her fathers truck pull into the drive. She jumped from her spot by the counter grabbing her school work and ran upstairs as fast as her legs could carry her. She quietly closed the door as she heard the front door open and slam shut. "Jane! What's for dinner baby girl?" She let out a breath she was holding and felt her body relax.

Her father for once didn't seem angry, it must have been a good day at work. Although Rebecca was young she was more mature then other people her age. She had seen things that most of the teenagers her age might never see, only hear about. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard her mother speak. "Steak with mash potatoes and green beans." Even up in her room she heard the annoyance in his fathers voice when he spoke.

"Didn't we have that last night? God Jane is that the only thing you know how to fucking cook?" Rebecca crept out of her room and looked down over the banister to watch what would happen. There stood a man around 5'11 black hair and dark brown eyes, his skin was darken by the sun and dirt covered his work clothes. "Daniel this all that we have in the fridge. That all I can-" The man step forward and out of Rebecca's vision.

"Maybe if you got your fat lazy ass of the couch and went to the store there would be other food in the fridge" She heard her father slam his fist against the kitchen table. It was then Rebecca knew to head back to her room. Se closed the door behind her and walked over to her bed. If only she had went with Kendall. Now she knew that was a mistake she should have went with him.

"Get back here Jane!" Rebecca jumped from her bed and ran over toward her closet and closed the door behind herself. She hid in the corner bringing her knees up and began to rock back and forth. The small girl jerked as she heard glass break and something being overturned. "Daniel please I'm sorry!" Rebecca let silent tears run down her cheeks as she heard her mother cry out in pain.

Her sobs carried up the stairs loudly making the girl cover her ears. The front door slammed and nothing but sobs were heard in the house. Rebecca sat watching the door wishing she could be with Kendall. Her father scared him, he was nothing like his friends fathers who smile and played with them. Rebecca continued to rock in her closest.

It was silent for a second.

Too quiet for Rebecca.

The closet door suddenly opened.

"D-dad..." The petite girl looked down at the floor while she waited for her dad to speak.

"Rebecca." Rebecaa looked up her bottom lip quivering due to the fear racing through her veins. When her eyes reached those of her dads her heart nearly stopped and then a blast of pain hit him in side. Daniel watched as the girl fell to the ground before bending over and picking the girl up and throwing her over his shoulder. She started to panic and tears once again started to flow down her cheeks. Clawing and scratching even biting her father, he didnt let her go. Daniel moved to the living room and threw the girl on the couch where the girl whimpered and scrambled to get away. She felt his father grab her by the throat and pulled her up to sitting position.

"Rebecca you're such a good girl aren't you?" Rebecca slowly nodded her head keeping her eyes on the man before her. "And you always listen to your parents right" She again nodded watching her fathers every move. "What happens here no one is to know about. Absolutely no one even your damn mother is to know. Got it?" She swallowed before letting out a small whimper as his father reached for him.

* * *

Its been a week.

A week for each of the boys. Logan was settling into rehab, Carlos was staying strong and James tried to stay normal.

Kendall was the only one that needed an answer.


	14. Holding on & Letting Go

**Holding on and letting go.**

Rebecca was smart. Smarter than any abused teenage girl could be. She sat at the breakfast table at school, slowly dabbing her shoulders and arms with makeup. No one would

notice. No one would ask. No one would even pay close attention to her. Mostly because no one really came to school as early as her.

Her eyes was dull as gray. Dull as the pain that lied inside her. Dull as the lack of protection she had. Dull as the circles that lied underneath her eyes. She was dull. Everything about her was dull.

She had given up on being popular, oh how the school year has passed and they were already in their fourth month.

People stopped inviting her to parties. It was expected though, she had become less interesting in drinking, in the drugs, less interested in almost everything.

She scrambled inside her bookbag, searching for a mirror. Thankful it wasnt completely broken.

Bringing it up to her reflection, she noticed her neck was unevenly colored. Softly applying more makeup she caked her body with unnessicary makeup.

Caking herself was the only way to cover it up. She didn't want to go through what she want through in the sixth grade.

Her body began shaking as the memory ran course in her brain the only way she stopped was someone grabbing onto her hands.

"Hey! Are you alright!" The person was a boy. Her eyes were closed but as soon as she opened them tears came out.

"Yeah," she lied pulling her wrists out of his grip. Slowly wiping away her tears softly, worried not to smear the makeup, she jumped up and began grabbing everything off the table and pouring it into her bag. "I-m sorry I gotta go-"

"Wait!" He stopped her. Rebecca didnt really look at who she was talking to, her eyes were on her feet.

She looked up and noticed that the boy she was talking to was Kendall. Her loose blonde hair halfly covered his forehead, his green eyes were different than anything he had seen. It was so perfect. A mixture of sweetness, a percentage of bitterness and protection. She hadn't seen anything like it before in her life. She suddenly snapped back into reality after realized she did not respond yet.

"What do you want?" She hissed, grabbing her dark gray sweatshirt that was behind her body loosely sitting in the chair. She slowly unzipped it, letting the sweater wrap around her body. It heavily weighed on her, not framing her curves for shit. It looked way to big, but it was the only thing she had to cover her scars except for using makeup.

Sweaters had become the only thing she worn.

"I want to talk to you." He deeply looked at her. Concern was the only thing he had on his mind. "Can i sit down?"

Rebecca heavily breathed. She shook her head. "No, you can't."

That made Kendall angry, but he sat down anyway. Folding his hands togethor onto the table, he looked at her. She looked a mess. Her hair didnt look brushed, it just hung down her shoulders, another safety net to cover her scars. She had makeup on, Kendall noticed. No eye liner, no mascara, no eye shawdow just. . . cover up. He knew too much about hiding scars to not realize someone was hiding something.

"Why'd you sit down!" She eased back in the chair. "I dont want to talk to you, okay? There is nothing to talk about, gosh."

"Nothing to talk about?" Kendall hysterically smiled, sitting up as fast as he could. Slowly whispering, "You havent been to school in over _two weeks._ You didnt think i was worried about you!"

She melted. "Why would _you_ think about _me?_ Im nothing to you."

"That's where your wrong. Your my _friend._"

"Friend?" She asked seeing him nod in agreement. "_I'm_ your friend? You dont even know me!"

'So, you didn't know me but you sat down next to me in gym on the first day of school." He looked at her, seeing her back off. His point was proven.

Shes sighed. "A few stupid questions about a dumb math class is _not friendship._" She spat. Her arms ran along the smooth tabletop.

"It was enough for me." Kendall gulped. The conversation could go both ways. She could let him in, or push him away. Kendall was used to both. If it was anyone else, he would have told the person to fuck off. Rebecca was different. The needy look in her eyes, the way she always looked defenseless, helpless. Scared, hurt, alone. He didn't want anyone to go through what he went through. Those feelings used to creep over him every single day of his lifetime. He wanted to make sure she was protected, because he had a gut feeling she wasn't protected at home. "Home" was the wrong word to use. They lived in a orphanage. It wasn't a home. Just a temporary resting place for the abused, in Kendall's opinion.

"Why do you want to be friends with me anyway? Don't you have friends?" She rolled her eyes.

"Actually i don't. But that is the least of my concern."

"What's your concern than?" She looked at him. "'Cause i definitely know it isnt me."

"You're so wrong about that, Rebecca. Why can't you just _accept_ that I actually want to be in your life? I just want to protect you."

"Protect me, huh?" She stood up, looking at a clock she knew the bell was about to ring. She wrapped the handle of her bookbag/handbag around her shoulder and looked at the ground before responding. She looked up and spoke as clear as she could. "I'm not looking for a bodyguard."

**Its one door swinging open...**

* * *

_Im not looking for a bodyguard. _Kendall wrote down in his notebook as he sat in the health room. Once a week the gyms classes would go into the health rooms and learn about health. Today was that day.

_I wanted to help her. She is so beautiful, so small. So fragile. Today she told me she didn't need my help. The way she lied to me only made me get more concerned, cause she honestly is the most prettiest thing ive ever seen. The way her eyes would dull as she sat alone. I wish i could help her. I never wanted to help anyone more in my life..._

Kendall closed thenotebook shut and put it deep down inside his gray bookbag. His blue beanie perfectly sat at the tip of his head. One hand covered half of the right side of his cheek as people crowded through the small door as the bell rang.

"Schmidt, no hats." A kid named Josh bitterly said.

Kendall ignored him, he eased his elbows and buried his head into his arms. His eyes were wide open, he stared at the dark colored desk trying to fall asleep.

It didnt work.

He shut his eyes but as soon as he did all he heard was the teacher talking.

"Ms. Soley, your late." He gaved Rebecca a look of bitterness and Kendall's body shot up.

"Sorry." She handed the teacher a white slip of paper, probably her pass. The class glared at her as she slowly and awkwardly walked to her seat.

"You came to class." Kendall breathed, his eyes never leaving her.

"Of course i did." She sadly said and took in a deep breath and sat down at her seat, feeling Kendall's eyes gaze on her everytime she moved.

* * *

**And one door swinging closed...**

James props his chin on the palm of his hand, staring down at the blank college ruled paper sitting in front of him on the desk. His dark marbles drag back towards the board, silently reading the prompt of the essay once more. He watches the time, counting down the ticks as the second hand moves mercilessly down the large numbers. Groaning, he focuses his eyes on the paper once more, dragging his mechanical pencil against the surface, scratching words against the paper, rushing to complete the assignment before the end of class.

The bell rang and he was brought out of his daze, dropping his pencil and looking up to see Elizabeth looking at him with an odd look, "what?" he wonders.

Elizabeth looked away and James shoved all of his belongings into his bookbag, slinking it around his shoulder. The rest of the students had already ran out the classroom like there life had depended on it. James looked at the clock, Emily was supposed to meet him here in exactly five minutes. Hesitating, he flipped out his phone and reread the text she sent him.

_Hey babe(: Im gonna meet you by your last period class today after school, okay? Love you. - Emily._

He nodded and slowly walked out the room and stood by the door. He was insecure, what if she didn't show? That'd be nonsense. Emily wasn't the type to skip plans.

He waited patiently, until it was 2:30. Half an hour after school ended, where he started to panick.

He repeatedly called Emily's cell phone, getting the voicemail everytime. Send every text message he could and getting no response made him flip out.

**30 minutes earlier...**

It was two o'clock in the afternoon, school had just ended. Emily Robins happily rushed into the bathroom, taking a quick bathroom break before she was going to meet her boyfriend, James, so they could hang out after school.

Walking into the stall, she quickly did her buisness, and began washing her hands only to hear Elizabeth's voice.

"Hey Emily." Elizabeth's voice was deep and she had to admit, the tone in her voice had her scared.

Another voice made her jump. "How's James?" Elizabeth snickered, two other companions of her laughing along with rolled her eyes and ignored the comment, pocketing her hands she turned to go.

"You're so stupid Emily." One of the red headed girl smirked.

Emily scowled and as she rolled her eyes, she tried to shove past the girl. "Let me out," she growled.

"Nah, i don't think i will." Emma sneered, giggling at her own words.

"I bet all your thinkin how your gonna run away, right?" Elizabeth asked with a malicious grin.

Emily felt heat rush to her cheeks as she tried to shove past the three other girls, "Shut up! Let me through!"

Instead of an exit, Emily was given a harsh punch to the jaw. She stumbled back a step, whimpering softly as she fingered her lip. "Aw, is she gonna cry?" The red head sneered.

"Let's give her something to really cry about,"Elizabeth smiled, shoving Emily back again, her back slamming against the wall.

Emily panicked as the three girls enclosed around him. Lashing out, she kicked Elizabeth in the shin and darted for the bathroom door. Unseen by Emily, Emma stuck his foot out, tripping the brunette. She toppled forward, her face smacking against the bathroom tile. "You think you can get away?" Elizabeth spat, kneeling beside Emily and fisting her hair, yanking Emily's head up to receive a pained yelp, "Everyone just likes you 'cause you're so pretty. Well, you won't be when we're done with you."

Emily cringed, clenching her eyes shut to hold back her tears, "Pl-please...please don't."

Elizabeth chuckled, "Help her up, Emma. Time for her makeover."

* * *

**PRESENT TIME**

* * *

**Some prayers find an answer...**

"Emily? Hey are you in here?" James screamed as soon as he got into the bathroom. He didn't hear any responses.

"She's over here!" Sam's girlfriend screamed, crying.

"James-" Sam started but he was at a loss for words. James came up behind his friend, both gasping in horror at the sight before them. Emily handing from one of the shower heads bleeding, bruised, and obviously unconscious. She had cuts carved into her once perfect chest and blood running down her thighs. Bruises married her face and body. Blood ran down her chin and forehead. She was blindfolded and tears ran down her cheeks cutting into the blood.

"Baby," James breathed and that was it, he was running towards Emily trying desperately to lift her bound arms off the shower head. He was struggling for a few seconds before he felt Sam come up to help him. With the two of them they were able to pull Emily down. James sat on the floor holding Emily in his lap.

"Emily, baby, come on you need to wake up. Please baby please be okay," James started to cry. He started to pull the tape from her eyes as Sam worked on her bound arms. After she was finally unbound and the blindfold was removed James looked down. He couldn't believe this had happened to her. She was the sweetest person he knew. She was always so kind and caring; she would never hurt a fly.

Yet someone had hurt her this bad.

He started crying. "Baby," he shook Emily's body. "Baby! Wake up! Please!" He screamed, the scream echoeing throughout the bathroom. He face was soon soaked with tears, he was holding his whole life in his arms. He was holding everything he needed in his life. He needed her. He needed to see her eyes open. He needed to see her smile one last time. He needed to hear her voices, cause he lost her he wouldn't be able to live with himself. he needed to feel her touch, how much he longed to feel her embrace.

He pulled her body against his chest, crying nonstop. "Emily, wake up." He sobbed while his lips started trembling. His body began shaking. His fingers were shaking so fast. He felt his breathing getting faster and faster as his body shook.

"James, calm down." Sam enouraged him. He had one hand on James shoulder and on hand was close to his ear as he was on the phone with the police.

James pushed his friend away coldly. _"No!"_ He cried. _"Don't tell me to calm down."_ He didn't bother looking at him.

He began breaking down. Sobs escaped his lungs like they were nothing. His body continued to shake all he wanted to do was make sure she was breathing. He put his ear to her mouth, a soft weak breath was coming out. The only thing he wanted was to make sure she was okay, but here she lied, in his arms. Dying.

"Please..." be began to beg to God. "God please save her!" He looked at his body in a mirror. Her blood began rubbing onto his clothes, staining every inch of his white t-shirt. It was just bought too, and he began sobbing harder and harder as he touched her. He began praying. "God please," he cried. "Keep her safe. Have her open her eyes! PLEASE!" He through his hands in the air and began yanking stands of his hair out. James suddenly blinked and in less than a second more tears collected. His head falls into his hands, clutching at his face as another sob rips through the silence, bouncing off the walls.

The tears run down his flushed cheeks in a steady pace, dripping down the side of his chin and he rubs a hand across Emily's face. He looked at her, grabbing her face in his shaky swollen hands and he slowly sent a kiss to her forehead. Her sent another one to her cheek and he slowly whispered in her ear. Tears continued to drip, and he couldnt barely speak. "I...I..." he break down and fell onto the floor. He grabbed her lifeless hand and held it to his heart. "Emily, i love you."

James' jaw clenches and he holds back a cry, wrapping his arms tightly around Emily to restrain from lashing out anymore. Silence. Everything felt serene, but nothing was serene. "I love you, i love you. I love you." He repeatedly said to her as her head fell against his chest. The was the last time they would have physical contact. As soon as James felt her forehead rush against his hard abs he let the tears he was holding back, loose.

"I dont wanna loose her." He cried. Sam slowly hung up his phone, it felt like James had been being tortured for hours but it had only been a couple of minutes.

**Some prayers never know...**

"They are on their way." He said and that only made James cry more. He rushed his hands through Emily's long hair, this could be the last time he ever did.

Everything in the room felt fuzzy.

He wished he could have done something to prevent this. That was his job as a boyfriend to protect her and he slowing held onto her hand. It wasn't as smooth as it had been. It was cold and dry. That was when he figured out he had lost her.

He had lost everything important to him.

He had lost the reason why he smiled. The reason why he woke up in the morning. He had lost the tender kiss he would get before first period. He had lost the laughs the had shared at the park on their first date. He lost the days they would bicker at eachother, but then come back again and love eachother. He lost the reason he felt strong Why he started dealing with the rape he had gone through only a year ago. He had lost her touch. How much he wished he could hold her hand again and have it feel warm. He wanted to kiss her lips and see her blush again. He wanted to hear he laugh at the most stupidest jokes. He wanted to hug her again. He wanted to feel her hands around his neck and he wanted to look down shyly like he always did. He wanted to wrap his arms around her hips, hold her body so close to eachother. He wanted to share food with her again. They always did cheesy things like this, sharing grapes or even chips. The feeling of her hands on his lips as she let go made everything in the world worth it. She made the days where he cried himself to sleep worth it. Because than, he could wake up to see her. He would miss the spark that had him jump the first time they kissed. He would miss her hazel eyes the way they light up at the sound of her voice. He would miss the soft touch of her tender lips against his. He would miss everything. Every memory they shared. He kept every voicemail of hers in his phone, just incase a moment like this would occur. And since it has happen, he knew he wouldnt forget her voice.

The way she giggled, laughed. The way she made the most ugliest facial expressions at times. The way the would hold eachother at night, laying down in his bed. They would lie against eachother, staring at eachother's eyes. He would miss the moments where he got to say i love you, each and every time of the day.

He wanted to gently peck her cheek at the most random times. Make her feel loved in the most saddest moment of her life. He wanted to walk through the school halls and hear people go, 'wow they're still togethor'. He wanted to marry her. Give her his vows and tell him how much she loved him. How he wanted to go to college with her but never got the chance to. She had so much to live for. She was only eighteen years old. So young. So precious. So geniune.

She was so beautiful and he his body go into shock mode. He knew he haded to do this. He took a deep, very deep, breath. He wanted to put his hand against her heart and check for a pulse, but he couldn't. He didn't want to hold her while she died, but when she was okay. But he knew, she wouldn't be okay. Her cuts and bruises were to deep to manage and who knows, she could have bones broken. He felt more tears tremble, falling down his cheeks.

He moved his hand. It was no longer latched around her face, he slowly pushed her body back. Her body was now laying against his chest, positioned the way she looked when they would cuddle all night long and watch scary movie. This made it harder to put his hand against her heart. To check for a pulse. His eyes dulled as his shaky hand found his way to her chest, he cried as he pressed his palm against her heart area. There was no heartbeat. There could be, he wasnt sure if he felt in the correct place. Putting his hand on each side of her upper chest, he got nothing. No sign of life.

"Sam!" He spoke and began sobbing again as soon as he spoke.

"What!" His friend could notice the worriedness in James' voice and ran over to him as fast as he could. "What's wrong?"

"Her heartbeat." James cried and shook his head in denial. "I can't feel her heartbeat!"

Sam slowly pushed James' hand away from Emily's chest and put his hands on the spot James' hands were. He moved his hands around too, trying to find it. He slowly closed his eyes and tears began to drip out of his eyes. "She's gone."

"No!" James screamed on the top of his lungs. "I'm not gonna loose her! Don't you know cpr or something?"

"Somewhat.." He looked at James and how deperate he was.

"DO IT MAN!" He cried pushing his friend towards his girlfriend.

Pressure, Sam gently cupped Emily's face. His warm hands against her cold body made him jump a bit. "Im gonna breathe into her mouth and once my head pops up your gonna put your hands here.." Sam put James' hand against her lungs. "Your gonna push down for three seconds." James nodded and Sam took a deep breath. He put his lips against her and deeply breathed it. "Go!" He said to James and James pushed on Emily's lungs.

"One." James said and pushed down harder. "Two." He said and began crying. "Three."

Automatically, Sam breathed into her mouth more and James automatically pushed against her chest.

"This isn't working!" James pushed Sam away from Emily, hysterically crying. "She isn't coming back! She had to come back." Sam told James and James shook his head. "I'm not gonna loose her."

James climbed over Emily's body and blew into her throat. "Cmon baby," he cried pushing down on his chest once more. "One, two, three." He counted. He repeatedly did it and Sam suddenly pushed James away. "JAMES! STOP!" James did what he was told and they looked at Emily's throat. It was weakly going up and down as she started to breath again.

_"Is she breathing!"_ James began crying again. Different tears, happy tears.

He looked at Sam for a response, and he nodded.

"She's...she's breathing..." He told himself. Grabbing onto Emily, he pulled her close. Holding close than ever before, he looked at her. Pressing a kiss against her temple he prayed. "Stay with me, please, stay with me."

**We're holding on and letting go...**

* * *

Hello(: This chapter is VERY emotional. Based on the song"Holding on and letting go" by Ross Copperman, here is the new chapter. Please leave reviews. xo


	15. SUPERHUMAN

"James, you can't keep on doing this." Carlos said to James as they walked along the street.

"Keep doing what?" He immediately got defensive.

"_This." _Carlos pointed his finger onto James' chest. "Skipping school, staying in your house . . . you can't just give up on your life because Emily got in an accident."

"_An accident!"_ James growled. "She practically died in my arms!"

Carlos' eyes furrowed. _He didn't know, did he? _"James, Emily is still alive. It's not like she died."

James' eyes widened. "What?" James felt goose bumps rise on his skin.

"See James—this is what I mean. You let your brain trick you into thinking that she died when . . . she's been kept in the hospital for the last two weeks."

"_AND YOU DIDN'T TELL ME!"_ James screamed on the top of his lungs before pushing Carlos away from him. "_HOW_ could you not tell me!"

"_I DID TELL YOU JAMES."_ Carlos screamed, letting the words sink into his brain. "I called and called and called for days on end. Emily did too but you never answered your phone."

"What—I never got any phone calls."

"Maybe because your phone was off?" Carlos bluntly responded in ignorance. "Damn James, all you think about what yourself. Did you even go and check to see if she was okay?"

"_How could I?_ How could I go to the hospital and check up on her to possibly see that she died that day. I'm not as strong as you think I am. I'm a loser Carlos; I can barely stay standing for even a second. The only thing that held me together for the longest time was Emily. So why don't you give me a god damn explanation of how I could. 'Because I don't think there is enough strength in me to go now."

"James," Carlos put both of his hands on James' shoulders. "You _are _strong. I know what happened and I know you can do this."

James shook his head. "No, I'm not."

Carlos rolled his eyes. "Of course. You're just so damn stubborn James."

"What does that mean—"

"It means that if you can't even go and check on her to see if she is okay, then maybe you shouldn't be with her."

James scoffed. Was he serious? "What does _that_ mean?"

"I've been with her every day at the hospital James, you don't care. Did you know she doesn't even talk about you anymore? The first few days, yeah, of course shed talk about you. She'd talk about you every damn minute of every day but just like me, she got sick of it. She got sick of calling a phone that wouldn't be answered and guess what James? I'm sick of seeing Emily cry and cry about how you won't call her back."

James shook his head in complete shock. "Are you- _Are you serious?"_

"Yes James, I am dead serious. I know you're depressed. I know you love her more than life but maybe you love her too much. It's like you're obsessed with her. You just get caught up with your thoughts so much that you can't even come back to reality and say 'hey, maybe she's alive. Maybe she's fine.'" Carlos shook his head. His words getting louder and louder as each word came. "You don't love her James. I do. I stayed at the hospital every second with her. Watching her cry, watching her get surgery done, I've seen everything."

"Is that why you came here Carlos!" He found himself giving Carlos a push to his chest. "To make me feel worse than I already am? _I'm not perfect Carlos._ Emily knows that; and you're jealous. You're so jealous Carlos, you're jealous of the way Emily looks at me and your just dying inside because you want her. Guess what Carlos?_ You can't have her._"

"Who says I'm not already with her?" He smirked, using that as a way to get him riled up.

"Bullshit." He hissed. "I've been with Emily for more than two years; you think that just because I'm out of the picture for a second she'll run to you?"

"She did last time."

James couldn't believe what he was hearing. This was Carlos' goal. He knew it he wished he had just seen it earlier. "Why can't you just leave us alone Carlos? Why can't you go worry about school and your little sister before trying to tear me and Emily apart? I don't get you. We were supposed to be best friends, what happened?"

"I changed." Carlos gritted his teeth. "And you better change too, before I get your girl to change her mind. I can do it easily. Really easily."

"You're so different around her Carlos, you brainwash her to make her think you're so sweet. But you're not. You're _scum._ Just like gum on the bottom of her shoe. She doesn't love you and she never will."

That burned deep into Carlos as his eyes became glossy. Carlos couldn't say anything. "Just watch your girl." Carlos turned around and could feel James' eyes burn into the back of his skull.

"Yeah," James bitterly gave Carlos a dirty look. _"My girl."_

Carlos bit his lip, fighting every thought in his head that wanted to kill James. Carlos simply smirked; _He doesn't know what's coming for him._

James suddenly widened his eyes as screams left his lungs as his body flung out of his bed. He wiped his eyes; he wasn't adjusted to the light just yet. It was too light inside him to realize he had fallen asleep.

_Another nightmare._

Lately James kept on getting this nightmare where Emily and Carlos were together. Or like his dream from last night, Carlos was plotting to get Emily his.

He knew it was just a dream but it was too much for him to handle and he could easily feel his tears drip onto the bed sheets.

Why couldn't he just be a man and go see if she was okay?

He couldn't answer that.

He didn't know why.

He just knew that he didn't have the heart to see the love of his life in a hospital.

* * *

"Carlos!" Anna screamed of excitement as her big brother walked into the big mansion that he lived in.

"Ana!" He let out a huge grin as Anna jumped up into his arms, her legs attached to his hip. She was holding him so tight. "How are you baby girl?" He held her tight.

"I missed you. Hey, Uncle James was here." She moved her arms up and down in excitement.

Carlos' eyes widened. "He was?" He looked at Laurie and she nodded.

"Yeah, but he didn't stay for long. He wanted to talk to you and then left."

"Oh." He looked at his feet and then back at Anna. "I'm pretty sure it was about Emily or something. . . "He shook off the sad feeling that overtook him.

"How is Emily?" Laurie asked.

"Alright . . . still shaken up, but fine." He sighed, slowly letting Anna down.

"In other news," Carlos smiled. "I got the job!" He happily announced.

"Really?" Kiara asked as she walked down the stairs and grabbed a soda out of the refrigerator.

"Yeah . . ."

"Good. I'm proud of you. Wanna go out tonight?" She asked trying to hide the obvious attraction she had for the teenager.

"Ugh," Carlos sighed. "I would, but I have to visit Emily at the hospital." He faked a smile.

"You visit her every night Carlos, I'm sure she's fine." Kiara encouraged him.

"I know," he looked at his feet. "But she's my friend and no one has really visited her so."

Kiara nodded, understanding that Carlos wanted to be there with her. "Okay, well, if you come back: call me."

"Okay." Carlos gave Anna a hug before walking out of the door.

Carlos lightly knocked on Emily's door and Emily's nurse automatically opened the door.

"Hi Carlos, here to visit Emily again?" She gave him a smile and Carlos nodded. Making his way through the door he saw that Emily was asleep.

"She's asleep?" He gave the nurse a look.

"Yeah, she's been asleep all day. Don't worry, she'll wake up soon." She reassured the short Latino boy.

"Oh, okay." Carlos gave a halfhearted smile. "Should I sit down?" He asked. "And where do I put these flowers?" Carlos asked feeling a bit lost.

"I'll put them in a vase. Of course you can sit down. I find it cute how you've been her only visitor. Her parents have been stuck in Hawaii because of issues with the roads and stuff so remember to tell her that, okay?"

"I'll tell her."

"Good. Well, I'm gonna go check on Emily's blood work."

Wait— what actually happened to her again? What were her injuries?"

"She had a severe broken rib, deep wounds that needed stitches and her ankle was broken. Did the school find out who attacked her?" The nurse pondered.

"Yeah," Carlos replied in an awkward sense. "They found the girls. They got expelled and they deserved it."

"Good. I'll be right back." She said and gave Carlos a faded wave before walking out of the door, gently closing the door shut behind her.

Carlos patiently waited for a few seconds until he decided to wake Emily up.

"Emily . . ." He poked her sides; he knew she was ticklish. "Wake up."

Emily shifted her body to a more comfortable position.

"No . . ." she groaned like a five year old.

"Emily, its Carlos." He smiled and tickled her left rib, careful not to tickle her too hard. "Wake up beautiful." He smiled a big smile until he realized what he had said. Why did he call her beautiful?

"Oh God Carlos, I'm up." She opened her eyes and looked at his bright brown marbles.

"Yay!" He cheered getting happy.

Emily sat up her back leaned against the frame of the bed. She could see how shaken Carlos was. "Dude, what's wrong? You look like you've seen a ghost."

Carlos faked a laugh. "I'm sorry . . ." He cleared his throat. "Are you and James . . . still together?" He asked, looking at her for eye contact.

Emily sighed. "I don't even know. I haven't seen him in weeks and he hasn't picked up his phone."

"Oh."

"Why?" Emily gave him a look.

Carlos shrugged. "'Cause I don't want to develop feelings for you again if you end up just picking him again." He brutally said and Emily looked at him.

"Carlos . . ."

"No," he smiled. "It's fine. It really is." He eyes her from the corner of his eye. "I don't want to be that guy friend that gets overly jealous and shit. It just isn't worth my time with Anna yaknow . . ."

"Yeah," She looked at her fingers. "But you have been for me a lot so I owe you that."

"Good." He smiled. "So . . ." he changed the subject. "Do they know where you're gonna be leaving this place?" He looked around at the white colored room. How do people live in places like this?

"Um . . . A few more days; you're gonna be here when they let me out, right?"

"No, I'm just gonna let you walk home." He sarcastically replied with a laugh.

"Smart ass." She smiled.

"You know it."

"Hey," Carlos jumped up as he saw a remote control. "Wanna watch TV?"

"No. The TV here sucks ass."

"Aw, I bet you miss your silly reality shows don't you?" He joked.

"Yep, you bet I do." She joked back and a look in Carlos' eyes told her that something about him was good.

* * *

Kendall couldn't figure Rebecca out. She always seemed so scares around someone else but then once she was around him, it was different. She was different. He was different.

"So Rebecca," Kendall smiled as he walked next to her in the hallway while he was on his way to Basketball practice. "Why don't you be my prom date?"

"Me? Your prom date?" She gave him a look. "Why me?"

"'Cause I want you to be my date."

"Why would I go with you?"

"Why wouldn't you?" He smirked.

"Kendall, why can't you just give up like everyone else?" She rolled her eyes.

"'Cause I'm not like everyone else." He bit his lip. "You obviously have issues at home and the prom is a way to get out the house so why not?"

"I'll ask my dad." She looked down.

"How about I ask him. The night of prom for you."

Rebecca looked at Kendall like he was crazy. "Why would you ask my dad to take me to prom?"

"What?" He frowned. "I can't be a gentleman?"

"No no no." She smiled. "You can it's just … no one else has done that before."

"Like I said I'm Kendall Schmidt. I'm not like anyone else."

"Cocky much?" She looked at him.

"No, I just like you."

She blushed. "Well, thank you. It was nice talking to you but I gotta get to Physics Club—"

"No, you're not." He stopped her. "We're gonna hang out."

She rolled her eyes. "You want to hang out to much."

"You want to hang out to less."

"C'mon, it'll be fun. We can go to my house . . . I've got a bouncy house . . . and a swimming pool." He nudged her and Rebecca let the stubbornness get to her. "Fine, Ill go for the pool."

Kendall smiled. "WIN!"

* * *

Kendall loved the impact of the water on his skin. Jumping into the pool, he laughed as the water splashed Rebecca.

"Stop laughing at me Kendall! You're such a bully." She joked and Kendall looked at her as she walked to the ledge of the water. She had one of Kendall's oversized t-shirt on and it fitted her curves perfectly.

"Oh my Lady," He handed out his hand. "Wanna take a swim?" He smiled.

"There's a problem." Rebecca looked at the sky and the darkness of it scared her. It had taken them over a hour to get here and it was pitch black except for the porch light that surrounded them.

"Yeah?"

"I cant swim." She sat on her butt, her legs hanging on the edge of the pool. The cool water felt good against her hot skin.

"I gotcha." He said and handed his hand out to her again. "Trust me." He said and gently put his hands on her hips.

"Kendall." She tightly closed her eyes. "I'm scared." She held onto him while she laughed at herself.

"Calm down." He said and looked at how shallow the water was. "Let go. Nothing is gonna happen." He reassured her and ran his fingers through his hair.

"Why does this remind me of Romeo and Juliet?" She asked and could feel herself blush.

"Maybe because I took a few notes babe." He said and sent a kiss to her forehead.

The kiss to her forehead made Rebecca freeze. The nickname to made her want to run and hide. She didn't want to get close to him but the way he made her feel . . . it was kind of hard not to. It was hard to resist his smile, oh how his smile made her knees go weak. He asked her to prom to, a thing a lot of guys wouldn't even dare to do. He made her feel safe for some reason. She had lived for fear in so long that the way the water dripped from his hair onto her face made her shiver as her legs touched the bottom of the pool.

"Notes?" She curiously smirked. "What is that gonna do?" She said and ran her fingers through his blonde locks and his breath against her lips.

Kendall bit his lip. He didn't know what to say he just wanted to say how he felt. It was insane to have such emotions for someone he barely knew but he wasn't going to fight what his heart wanted. "It's gonna make . . . it's gonna make you love me."

"I don't love you." She said and Kendall didn't turn away.

"Yet." He let a small smile creep on his face and Rebecca frowned. "What does that mean?"

"It means that just because you don't love me right now," He grabbed onto her hips and pulled her into the water. "Doesn't mean you won't love me a month from now."

Rebecca fell into the water as her head went under the water. The air was crisp and almost everything about the guy had her attracted. He was pushy, but a good kind of pushy. Maybe she needed someone like him in her life, maybe she didn't, but she wasn't concerned about that right now.

Rebecca came up for air and she felt Kendall's arm around her body as she practically fell on top of him. "Kendall," she gasped for air.

"Yeah?" Kendall closed the distance between them as he pulled her closer to him. So close that their lips were inches apart.

"I'm cold." She said and Kendall looked down a bit disappointed.

"Do you wanna get out of the pool?" He said and sent a kiss to the soft spot underneath her ear.

"No." She shook her head, their eyes never leaving each others.

"What do you want me to do?"

"I want you to kiss me."

* * *

Author Notes: I LOVE THIS CHAPTER. :DD Kendall and Rebecca. Im really proud of this too, and im thinking about deleting Logan out of this story mostly because im bored with you. If you want me to keep him. WHO DO YOU WANT EMILY TO BE WITH? CARLOS OR JAMES? LEMME KNOW and give me GOOD REASONS. Comment. LEAVE REVIEWS. THEY MOTIVATE ME TO WRITE.


	16. Screams for Help

**I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name  
like a fool at the top of my lungs  
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright  
but it's never enough**

James could feel almost every muscle in his body fall weak. He could feel stabs getting sent to his chest as he heard Emily talk.

"What—what did you just say to me?" He whispered and Emily could automatically feel tears sting down her cheeks.

"I said . . ." She wiped her eyes. "That I don't want you here." She sniffled and words couldn't explain how much it hurt to speak the words she was saying.

James gulped. "Why?" He faked a smile, hoping she was joking. "Why don't you want me here?"

"I waited two weeks James." She cleared her throat. "_I called and called and called_ and you never even bothered to look at my texts or voicemail once."

"Emily, _I'm sorry."_ James' voice cracked. "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you like I should have. I'm sorry. _So sorry."_

It cut James like a knife to hear that she wanted him out of her life. "I'm sorry . . ." A single clear tear fell down the beautiful boy's face.

"I'm sorry too." Emily replied and James suddenly dropped the flowers that he had in his hand. He walked over to Emily and wiped away her tears. **"I'm sorry I was just a horrible boyfriend."** He whispered and that only made Emily cry more. It was like pools and pools of water wouldn't stop leaving her dark green eyes.

She shook her head repeatedly. "You weren't a horrible boyfriend James,"' she sniffled. "I'm just so tired; tired of everything. I'm tired of having to be there for you and not have anyone come to make sure I'm okay every once in awhile. I love you a lot James you know I do but, I think you love me more than I love you." She rested her head against his chest and James looked down agreeing.

"You're right." He sucked up his tears. "You're right."

"I just think we need a break . . ." She cried again. "I don't want one cause I swear, I love you more than life itself; I just think that we need to focus on different things."

"I understand." He looked down at his feet trying to stay as strong as he could. He wanted to jump off the small bed and rip everything up. He wanted to trash the place just so she would see how much it hurt him; but to be honestly, James wasn't the only one hurt in this situation. "I don't deserve you." He choked up. "I really don't."

Emily remained quiet.

"God, I wish we hadn't come to this."

"I'm sorry."

James took it like a man.

"It's okay. It's not your fault. It's not my fault. We're just so concerned about us that we forgot to even take a second to look at reality."

James began rubbing his hand up and down her back and Emily savored the moment.

"What made you change your mind? About us?" He wanted an explanation.

"Nothing changed my mind." She looked at him and shook his head. "Nothing did." She said the absolute truth.

James remained calm. "Then why break up with me?"

"I'm breaking up with you because . . . I love you."

"That doesn't make sense." James cut her off.

"Yes, it does." Emily touched his face. "Us together just causes trouble. You care too much and that's okay, because I love you, I just think that we need time away from each other."

"So you want us to go back to being strangers then?" He quietly asked.

"For a little while."

James gently pushed Emily away from him, giving him room to stand. He walked away from the bed and got to the door before he turned around one last time.

"Emily," his voice cracked.

She turned to look at him and she had to admit, nothing hurt her more than seeing him so sad and broken hearted.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."

She smiled. "I love you too."

James faked a smile and walked out of the door, slowly closing it behind him.

"James?" Carlos smiled. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to see Emily." It was totally obvious that he was upset.

"Hey man, you okay?" He frowned.

"Emily broke up with me." He gasped a bit for air. "She actually broke up with me." He shook his head in disbelief.

Carlos felt a lump in his throat form. _Holy shit, I hope I wasn't the reason for this._ He immediately felt guilt toy with his insides.

"She did! Why?"

James shrugged. "I don't know, but I guess it's for the best."

"What do you mean? You love her to death don't you? How could this possibly be the best?"

"We aren't happy together." He looked at Carlos. "We just aren't. I don't want her to be in a relationship where she isn't happy. I only want the best for her Carlos and if _I'm_ not the best thing for her than I guess she doesn't deserve that." James could feel his lip quiver and his voice crack. "I'm gonna miss her so much Carlos." James fell to his feet and was surprised to be caught by Carlos. He swung his hands around the six foot tall boy and rubbed the back of his head while he cried like a mere child.

"It's gonna be okay." He repeatedly told James. "It's gonna be okay."

Words couldn't describe how horrible James felt. Even I couldn't describe it. His first love of his life just told him that she didn't want to be seen anymore. What more do you simply want? All throughout James life he wanted someone there. He wanted someone to call a loyal friend. He wanted someone to at least try to stay up with him but of course James knew that it wasn't possible.

He pushed Carlos away. He had been so caught up with the rape to even think about anyone else. He would blame the stubbornness but it simply wouldn't help at all.

He loved Emily too much. He had been mistreated so much throughout his life. He had just wished that someone like her would stay. But in life, you don't get what you want. James didn't get what he wanted. He was intrigued by her. He loved how someone could simply love him back without trying. He loved how she made his knees go weak. He loved everything about her and well, losing her is something he would just have to _deal_ with.

Deal with.

Emily had constantly told him so many times to go a therapist. Deal with his issues. Do something productive.

He just merely ignored her.

Now, as he walked down the street with a bottle of vodka wrapped in a bag he thought; "Why hadn't he listened to her?"

Almost everything he brought him back to a few years back at the board walk. It brought him back to his depression state. It brought him back to the rage inside himself. It brought back the hatred he had for himself.

_Maybe I love Emily more than I think. _James thought to himself. _Maybe I just used the thought of loving her as an excuse to believe I was fixed._

He sighed and walked to the park and sat on the swings. Swinging his feet back and forth he threw the bottle of vodka to the left of him.

He was hesitant.

_Maybe a drink would help…._

_No, a drink won't help._

_But if I drink, I won't be sad. I can forget everything for a few seconds._

_No James, don't do it. Last time you drank you regretted it._

_Okay, I won't drink._

_But wait, it'll help._

James snatched the bottle of vodka off the ground and tore off the cap.

_I just need to get away from the world for a few seconds._

_James, stop it. You sound crazy. You sound crazy. I sound crazy…_

James had to stop himself. He was crying.

_I'm crazy._

He suddenly grabbed the vodka and sucked it down his throat as fast as he could.

_I'm not crazy… I'm not crazy…._

He downed another drink. The vodka burned inside his throat but he still drank it.

_She doesn't want me._

The depression was coming back ten times harder than before and it scared James to death.

_Another drink will make the pain go away._

James suddenly felt a smack on his head and a laugh left from his lips. His body was so delayed to the reaction because of the vodka he hadn't realized he had fallen off the swing.

Lying on his back, his eyes widened as he chugged down another drink of vodka.

_I'm not crazy . . . _he cried.

_I'm not crazy. No one wants me, that's the problem, right? I'm perfectly normal. I can live through this._

_Oh shut up James, you can't. I can't. I have nothing to live for._

He licked his lip, his heart racing. He could literally feel the poison of the substance run straight to his heart.

His chest began hurting.

_Fuck James, what did you do now? Damn, I don't feel good._

He closed his eyes.

_I'm not crazy. I don't need help. I don't have problems. I dealt with everything months ago . . ._

He felt the bottle smack into his head and he took the last drink while tears fell.

_THEY'RE CRAZY. Emily and Carlos are crazy. It's not me, it's not me. I'm not crazy. I'm normal. I'm loved. I dealt with everything a long time ago. I'm loved._

_No, I'm not. I'm not loved. No, Emily doesn't want me. Who would right?_

Blood dripped onto the side of his forehead; he hadn't realized that the bottle smashed against his forehead and that he was bleeding. He didn't realize it at all, and honestly, that was what he wanted.

He wanted to be dead.

He wanted to be away from this pain.

He wanted to be away from the universe and just be taken away.

He wanted help.

He wanted so many things he didn't even exactly _know_ what he wanted.

His eyes suddenly closed and that was it.

He was alone with his thoughts. Though that was what made him believe he was trapped in the first place.

He wasn't crazy.

He wasn't.

But when so many things bombard your life what do you believe?

He wasn't crazy. Mentally unstable, yes, but not crazy.

_You're not good enough for her. You're not worthy enough for him._

Blood dripped from his forehead to his lip. He sucked it in, the taste of his blood never felt any better.

He turned his head to the side and saw the glass bottle of vodka.

_I need a way out._ He thought to himself.

_I need a way out._

Getting angry, he grabbed the empty vodka bottle and smashed it against the swing set, tears falling faster and faster than ever before.

Glass shattered everywhere, stabbing James in so many places he shrieked in pain. Screaming on top of his lungs.

Loud enough for the whole block to hear him but no one did.

No one heard his cries.

If only someone did.

He was too delirious to be thinking of people at this moment. He cried, he was crying the entire time and how what he would do would just make everything better.

He grabbed one of the hugest pieces of glass he could see without sitting up. Snatching it into his hand and he gripped it. He gripped it so tight that when the blood dripped onto him he didn't even feel the pain. His adrenaline was so high; he couldn't take it anymore.

Taking the large piece of glass, he looked at it and took a deep breath stabbing his chest before he could hesitate.

It went in deep too.

It hit him directly underneath his stomach only a few centimeters away from his heart.

James grunted. He felt a release of pain as he hurt himself. It felt like weights had been lifted off his shoulder.

He didn't feel crazy anymore.

He felt . . .

He felt . . .

Good.

He looked down at his chest and cursed to himself.

_Damn it, I missed._ He cried. Pulling the piece of glass out of his lower abdomen.

He threw the piece of glass out into the distance. It was too dark for him to see.

_I can't go anything right._ He closed his eyes. _I can't even stab myself without screwing up._

_What do you get James? Failure._

_I'm a failure. _

_I'm a failure as a boyfriend and I'm a failure at a human being._

_I fail at life._

_I bet I fail at breathing._

Forcing himself to sit up, he held onto his chest and looked for another piece of glass.

_I can't see anything…._ He thought and felt his head hurt.

_I can't hear anything…_ He felt his body drop to the cold dirty ground.

_I can't…_

Before he could finish the thought his eyes closed.

His eyes closed as fast as they could and he wished they wouldn't open.

He closed them tight.

_Good job James._

He felt a smile on his face appear.

_**The kid was going mentally insane.**_

**I'm out on the edge and I'm screaming my name  
like a fool at the top of my lungs  
sometimes when I close my eyes I pretend I'm alright  
but it's never enough  
cause my echo, echo  
is the only voice coming back  
my shadow, shadow  
is the only friend that I have**


	17. The trouble with Girls

**The trouble with girls is they're a mystery  
Something about em puzzles me  
Spent my whole life trying to figure out  
Just what them girls are all about**

"Emily calm down!" Carlos grabbed Emily's face, cupping it in his palms. "Calm down." He stared deep into her eyes and she heavily breathed while she cried.

"How can I!" She shook her head. "James practically tried to kill himself because i broke up with him." She wiped the tears away from her face. "It was my fault."

Carlos shook his head. "No Emily," he licked his lips. "No it's not your fault."

"Yes it is." She gasped for air. "If I hadn't broken up with him, none of this wouldn't of happened."

"Is that what you think?" Carlos faked a laugh. "It isn't your fault. You did what you thought was a good idea. You can't control what James does. You can't control how he deals with his emotions. You can't control him Emily, you can't."

Emily calmed herself down.

"Do you understand me?"

She nodded; rubbing her hand through her hair she couldn't help but feel the sweat that aligned her forehead. "I feel bad for him. He's been through so much Carlos. You wouldn't understand."

"Maybe that's true, but you and him being together when he has all these issues it isn't a good mix." He told her.

"I know." She suddenly shook off the goose bumps that formed. "_I just wanna make he is okay."_ She looked into Carlos' dark orbs and she could see that his mood change. His face softened and his eyes got darker.

"That's okay." He shakily said. "That's—that's okay." He honestly replied to her. "Do you wanna go to the hospital?"

"Yeah," She grabbed her jacket and slid it around her shoulders. "Let's go."

"But what about school?" Carlos looked at her.

"School can wait." Emily bluntly said. "I wanna know if my boyfriend is okay."

"_Boyfriend?"_ He asked her like she was crazy.

"I meant friend."

"Uh huh." Carlos rolled his eyes extremely jealous.

"Get over it Carlos, are you gonna take me to the hospital or not!"

Carlos bit his lip; he was sick of her leading him on. "I don't even wanna take you now." He threw his keys onto the table of his apartment.

"What!" She gasped. "Why!"

"Because I'm sick of all your mind games Emily."

"Mind games? What the hell are you talking about!"

"You keep on leading me on. You keep on making me believe that you like me but the second James pops up you just forget about me and go and call him your _boyfriend._ You broke up with him you do realize that right?"

_Where the hell was this coming from? _"Excuse you Carlos, but I'm sorry that I don't actually care about my and James breakup right now. I'm sorry if you think I'm leading you on, but right now I wanna make sure James is okay. He's the only person I have ever had in my life that I can depend on. _I'm so sorry Carlos if you accept that he was the love of my life for almost three years."_ She gritted her teeth not giving him a chance to interject. "And if you _think_ that I would just automatically date you after coming out of this relationship than you're fucking _insane._"

"I'm insane? At least I didn't fucking stab myself in the chest because a girl broke up with me." He rolled his eyes, using James as a way to make it seem like he was better than him.

Emily was shocked. Her jaw dropped and she looked like she was gonna cry. "Do you even hear yourself Carlos?" She shook her head. _"You're such a horrible person." _She breathed.

"Emily, stop. You know I didn't mean that." He grabbed onto her wrist to stop her from leaving.

"Yes Carlos," She yanked her hand away. "Yes you did mean it." She rubbed her hands through her hair and she could feel herself crying. "James was a huge part of my life and I just want to see him. . ." She started crying.

Carlos pulled her into a hug and rubbed her back softly.

"It's okay. Shh…" he whispered in her ear. "It's alright."

She sniffled and they both pulled apart. "I'll take you to the hospital okay?"

"Okay." She looked at him and he walked over to the table and grabbed his keys.

Carlos just wished it could be easy.

That Emily could just forget about James and love him but that would just be naïve.

Carlos knew very damn well that James and Emily loved each other more than anything else.

This is why he was always jealous.

He just needed time.

And time was ticking.

* * *

Rebecca slowly walked into the kitchen of her house, grabbing a jug of orange juice from the fridge. Quiet and settle, she grabbed a granola bar from the cabinet before slinging her book bag around her shoulder.

She made sure that her father didn't hear her. She had techniques, ways that she could leave the house without being torture.

And today was the start of a good day.

Looking at her arms, she was wearing a short sleeve shirt for the first time in awhile.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly took the first step out of the house and slammed the door shut as she ran to her bus stop.

She was shaky and her heart was racing. She just wanted to get out the house for once and for all.

"Hey!" A familiar voice said to her and she jumped as soon as she heard it.

"Whoa; calm down." Rebecca looked up and saw it was Kendall. "I'm not gonna hurt you."

"Oh my God, Kendall. You scared me." She could feel her chest go up and down with adrenaline.

"You don't have to be scared of me." He smiled and Rebecca blushed. "I know."

"Good." He put his hand out. "So, today, I have a fun day planned for us."

She grabbed his hand and they both swung it back and forth as they walked and she gave him a look. "Planned day?"

"Yeah, pretty much. We're gonna go to my place chill and relax . . . it'll be fun."

"You mean ditch?" She looked at him like he was crazy.

"Yeah, why not right?"

"You're such a bad influence." She said and he wrapped his arm around her neck pulling her close.

"Maybe, but its okay." They both laughed.

In less than a few moments Kendall and Rebecca ended up at his house. He shuffled through his pockets until he found his key.

Putting the key into the lock, the door swung open and he opened the door for her. "Go in, mah lady." He sweetly said.

"Oh my God Kendall, guess what song I have stuck in my head?" She asked as she sat down on the couch that lied in the middle of the living room.

"What?" He gave her his attention while he took off his shirt and replaced it for a sleeveless t shirt.

"That old song 'T-Shirt'." She giggled.

"I don't remember that song."

"Oh." She looked around. "You have a big house."

"Thanks." He said and sat right next to her. "So yaknow," She smiled. "I never got my kiss." She flirtatiously brought up the subject.

"Hey, it's not my fault the power went out.."

Rebecca smiled. "Was you mad?"

"Nah," he shook his head. "I was cool with it."

Rebecca smiled.

"I have a question." He furrowed his eyebrows.

"Yeah?"

"How come before like last week you acted like you didn't want anything to do with me but now you do?"

_Because you make me feel safe._ "It's a long story." She felt a lump in her throat form.

"Is it?" He eyed her, doing one of his gorgeous half smiles. She hated how it made her do an automatic smile back. She turned serious and tried to look away from the blonde green eyed boy but she couldn't seem to do so.

"Yeah, it is."

"I've got time." He spread his arms across the back arm part of his couch and looked at Rebecca.

"No offense, but I don't fully . . . know you that well . . ." She awkwardly replied to his chivalry gesture.

"You know me well enough that you wanted to kiss me. You know me well enough to ditch school with me. You know me Rebecca, you know me." He gently leaned his head on her shoulder. He struggled a bit but got his arms around both of her hip. She looked down avoiding eye contact and appreciated his undivided attention.

"You're right." She looked at him and took a deep breath. She turned off her emotions and looked at him. "You want to know the truth? It's not anything a guy like you would handle. I've told a guy once and he ran away from me as fast as he could and told me he didn't want to deal with it. . . "

"I'm not gonna run away from you." He licked his lip.

Rebecca took a deep breath. _Should I tell him? No, I shouldn't. We aren't even that close. We probably aren't going to turn into anything. . .But he deserves to know. God Rebecca, make a decision._

"I . . ." she started off and suddenly caught a glimpse of Kendall's eyes. "Thought you were a man whore." She blurted out a lie.

Kendall chuckled. "Are you serious?"

"Yeah . . ." She faked a smile and had a look of guilt in her eyes. She could feel her stomach drop and she felt like she was going to puke. "That's why." She gulped.

"Why'd you think that?" He gently hit her shoulder and she automatically winced in pain.

_Fuck. He hit my bad arm._ Her 'bad arm' was bruised up. Bruised more than any other part of her body and she suddenly knew she was screwed.

"Hey!" Kendall jumped up. "Are you okay!" He grabbed onto her shoulders and scanned her arm.

"Yeah," she lied and pretended to be okay. She pulled her hand away and faked a smile. "I'm fine."

"Rebecca, you screamed as if I punched you in the face." He ran his hands up to the cup of her sleeve. Lemme see-"

"No!" She swatted his hands away. "Don't touch me."

"Rebecca!" Kendall growled as he got dead serious. "Let. Me. See. Your. Arm." He ordered her to let him see.

"No, you can't tell me what to do." She put her hands against his chest and pushed him away as she stood up.

"Yes I can." Kendall replied to her ignorant response. "I just wanna see if you're okay. Is that such a bad thing?"

"Yes it is Kendall. It's a horrible thing."

Kendall gave her a stupid look. "What the hell? How is me trying to make sure you're okay bad?"

"Because," she brushed herself off. "It just is okay Kendall? Don't make this any more complicated than it is."

"You already made it more complicated when you pushed me." He softly said calming himself down. He needed control right now.

"I'm sorry." She said, seeing Kendall calm down made her too. "It's just . . . what is underneath that shirt is much more complicated than anything else in my entire existence."

"What is it?" He got worried.

"A bruise." She said and Kendall didn't get it at first.

"A bruise? Why is there a bruise?" He was dumbfounded.

She pushed up the cup of her sleeve so that the wound was seen and by the way Kendall's eyes widened he knew what she meant.

It looked freshly new which was bad. The last time her dad flipped out was two weeks ago, her old scars would've been healed by now.

"Oh my God Rebecca, what happened?"

She pushed her hair out of her face onto the left side of her neck. "My dad . . . he hurts me . . ." Her voice softened.

"_WHAT!" _He shrieked. "You're kidding me right?"

She shook her head. "Oh my God Rebecca, oh my God." Kendall suddenly frowned. "Wait, but I thought you lived at the foster home? Why are you at your dads house then?" He got concerned.

"I don't actually 'live' at the foster home. I just sneak into my friend's room and stay there for as long as I can until I get kicked out." She looked at him. "What about you?" When did you get this apartment?"

"I've always had it. I had it just in case I could get out of my dad's house and once I went to the foster home, I remembered I bought it."

She looked puzzled. "Why'd you wanna get away from your dad so badly?"

"Because," he took a deep breath. _"My dad abused me."_

Rebecca shook her head. "What? Not even." She thought he was lying. "You're fine."

"You think that I'm okay? How could I possibly be okay? My dad abused me for the last 15 years of my life; As soon as my mom left."

Rebecca could see the pain in his eyes. "Kendall, I'm sorry—"

"No, don't apologize."

"What?"

"I'm gonna grab the phone and call the police, okay?" He walked toward the home telephone and Rebecca ran in front of him before he could move an inch.

"Kendall, wait! Don't." She looked at him.

"Why not!" He yelled at her. "Rebecca, I know your situation. I _understand_ why you don't want me to call the cops. I _know_ that you're scared. I know that, believe me; I do. Just trust me; I want you to get away from your dad. You don't deserve that." He cupped her face in his hand and gently kissed her forehead. "You deserve so much more. So much love, so much tenderness. You don't deserve to get hurt but some scumbag called your father."

One single clear tear dripped down her face. "Kendall, please." She begged. "You can call the cops all you want but can you please wait until tomorrow or something?" She frantically hugged him.

"If he knows I told someone today, he'll stalk me until I get home from school." She buried her head into his chest. "I don't want to deal with him right now. I wanna stay here . . . with _you._" She hugged his waist and Kendall sighed.

If it was up to him when he was getting abused, he would've prayed that someone was gonna call the cops for him.

He would've prayed that he had someone like him in his life at the time; but Rebecca was different. Her dad probably abused her for different reasons and she stayed at that house for reasons he had no clue why.

"I can't wait until tomorrow sweetheart, I can't."

Rebecca suddenly got angry and pushed him away from her. "God Kendall!" She gave him a dirty look. _"Why _can't you just do this one thing for me!"

Was she seriously getting mad at him? "Because, I know what he does. I know that he keeps you trapped in your bedroom scared to death. _I know_ what he does. I remember exactly what my dad did to me and guess what Rebecca? You're a woman; which means, he has probably done way worse to you. I will _not_ stand here and let him treat you like that. Understand me?"

Rebecca pouted and crossed her arms across her chest. "Well . . ." she let her stubbornness get in her way that she couldn't disagree with him.

Kendall smirked knowing she couldn't say anything as a comeback. "Well what?" He smiled.

"I guess you're right."

Kendall smiled.

"Oh, and there is one more thing I wanna say."

"What?"

"I love you." Kendall moved closer to her, his hand cupping her cheek and before Rebecca could process what happened, Kendall's lips meshed with hers in perfect sync.

**They hook you with one touch**

** And you can't break free**

** Yeah the trouble with girls Is nobody loves trouble much as me**


	18. Gone too Soon

**Not a day goes by,**  
**That I don't think of you,**  
**I'm always asking why this crazy world had to lose,**  
**Such a ray of light we never knew,**  
**Gone too soon, yeah.**

As soon as the hospital doors open on Saturday, May 6th, Emily ran as fast as she could. "Um, Ma'am!" She tried to be as pushy as she could. "Can i see James Maslow? please?"

"I'm sorry ma'am. Visiting hours aren't until a few hours." The nurse ignored her and began flipping pages through some magazine. She could've sworn she had seen it before but forgot about it.

"Please!" She begged. "I haven't seen James is over a week ever since his accident and this may be the last time he will." She bit her lip.

"What do you mean?" He eyed her.

She looked down at her feet and than back at the nurse. "I'm planning on leaving town in a few days but i haven't told anyone so i just wanna say goodbye and be on my way." Giving the nurse a desperate look all she hoped was the room keys. She knew that she wasn't good for Carlos and she knew being with James was just as bad. They didn't deserve her and for her sake, she really didn't want to be tied down. No girl wants to be in that position and give her a break, she loved James more than life but they didnt need eachother as much as James had put into consideration.

The nurse must've seen the deep desperation in her eyes because she took in a deep breath. "Okay," she sighed and handed Emily a pair of keys. "He's in room 432 and make sure you let the doctors know i let you go in the room."

"Thank you! thank you so much!" Emily cheered as the keys landed in her hand. "Thank you so much!"

"Wait-" The woman stopped emily as she practically ran up the staircase.

"Yeah?" Emily patiently waited.

"He loves you . . . James. He talks about you all the time. Do you think leaving is really a good idea?"

Emily thought for a second. "Yeah, it is. We aren't good for eachother." She waited for the woman's approval to leave and once the woman gave her the cue, she walked up the flight of stairs.

Already out of breath at the fourth flight, she slowly made her way to the top repeating the room number so she wouldn't forget it.

"Four twenty nine...four thirty...four thirty one... ah! Four thirty two.." Putting the key in the lock, the door opened and her figure swung through the door. She was surprised the thing didnt fall off its hinges.

James was dressed into a long, utterly ugly, hospital uh dress... she didnt know what to make of it. Sitting up, he had a styrofoam plate in his lap and was watching some football game that Emily didn't give a second look. Emily tensed up at the sight of him while James' face lit up. "Emily?" He frowned. "What are you doing here?" Faking a smile, she could see the hope and faith in his eyes and that killed her.

"I came . . . uh . . . to talk to you."

"Me? I thought you were done with me." James rolled his eyes in disgust and that suddenly turned Emily off to her sweet gestures.

"Woah, _woah, What_ is _your_ problem!" She straightened her posture and put a hand on her hip. You could feel her mood turn form sympathetic to boiling mad.

"_You."_ He snapped. "You are my problem. I've been sitting here for a week waiting for you and where were you? No where to be found."

Emily shook her head and crossed her hands against her chest. "It hurts, doesn't it?"

She made a point and James suddenly got goosebumps and shook them off. "Okay, i'm acting like a douche." His attitude changed. "I'm sorry." He eyed her up and down. "What do you want?"

"I wanted to talk to you . . . about us."

James grabbed his spoon and ate a spoonful of mash patotoes. "Us? I thought we were done."

He was seriously getting her more made than she was expecting. "God James, we are done. But when you hear that you ex-boyfriend went ballistic and tried to hurt himself-you'd wanna make sure he was okay."

James didn't even think about her finding out. "I was hurt okay!" He lowered his voice. "I was in love with you ever since the eighth grade and you're the only person i had to talk about these things with." He disgested his food and cleared his throat. "Do you even care about me at all!"

"James,"

"No! Don't 'James' me. Do you even realize how deeply you breaking up with me hurt me? It sucked Emily. It felt i was being stabbed in the stomach a hundred times!"

"Did you think it was easy?" She covered her mouth for a minute trying to control herself. "It wasn't easy at all to break up with you. I love you James, so much." She began to feel tears form in her eyes. "I love you with everything in me . . ." she felt his hands grab her hips and she pushed them away; finished her sentence. "But we aren't good for eachother."

James' voice cracked and he looked at her. "If you leave me so much, why leave? Why leave me?" His voice croked like a frog and tears formed in his eyes. "Why leave everything we've ever had? You told me you wanted to get married, did you forget about that?"

"We were young James. I was sixteen when i said that."

"You didn't mean it?" Emily's eyes widened as she saw his reaction. "You didnt mean it?" He repeated, getting louder and louder while he pushed his plate of food off of his lap. "Answer the damn question!" He screamed and his voice vibrated against her skin and she gulped.

"At the time i did James. You have to believe me. . . but look at yourself." James looked down at his lap and his body. Sets of different tubes and wires were hooked onto his wrists and arms. "You're in the hospital James, the _hospital. For attempted suicide._ Do you not see that?"

James thought for a minute. Did he go crazy and not even see it?

"I tried to kill myself?" He asked her and she nodded.

"James . . . you are _such_ a great guy." She felt her nose get the special kind of tingle when you know you're about to cry. "And that's why this is so hard." She took a deep breath. Tears flowed down her cheeks in a straight narrow line and she felt James' arms wrap around her body; he hugged her. So tight and he held her with such sympathy she knew it was a different kind of hug. It was different because both of them realized that this was it. This was their goodbye. They wouldn't see eachother again. Her head was in a perfect position on his shoulder and he froze. Trying to process what was happening.

"I know you love me. . . and i love you too . . . i will always love you. . . no matter what happens but i just. . . " Taking a deep breath she felt snot run out from her nose. "I need to get away from this town."

James pushed her away, nodding as he heard her words, he took her hands and held them. "I love you too," he choked out. It felt so good to finally say that and she felt as good as he did to hear it.

"I need to get away from this town. For a little while. Okay?"

"So what? You're gonna leave?"

She nodded. "Yeah, i'm gonna leave." She looked him in the eyes and kissed his forehead. "I just wish, that i could love you as much as you love me. Because it's amazing. I _know_ that you would do anything to make me happy." A tear slide from her face onto her wrist and James slowly rubbed it away. "I'm grateful for that, believe me, i am. . . . because you're amazing in every single way. You deserve a girl that is going to give you that. Not me. . . i know i don't deserve it especially because i betrayed you months ago with Carlos . . . i think you would be better without me."

James slowly shook his head. "Me? Better without you?" He bit his lip. His eyes still glazed in a glossy white substance she caressed her cheek. "That couldn't happen. Never."

She smiled at his words and silently breathed in and out of her nose. "You need time away from me." She wiped her eyes, pulling her hands away from James'.

"Maybe i do." He scratched behind his ear and looked around at his surroundings. "I can't believe that I uh . . . would've killed myself if you left me." He felt almost ashamed for a second and he bit his lip. "I just feel so alone all of the time." He wiped at his face as tears began to fell. "I've never had anyone stay in my life for more than a few years and the thought of loosing you made me go insane." He took a moment to let tears fall. "I just don't want to loose you. I have nothing without you."

She shook her head. "You aren't going to loose me, James."

"I'm not?"

"No."

He smiled at her reassurance and looked up at her. "God, i love you so much."

She grinned. "I love you too." She hesistated but pressed a small chaste kiss onto his cheek. "Bye James."

She tried to pull away but he grabbed onto her wrists as tightly as he could. "You're leaving?"

She wiped away the tears from his beautifully curved face and pulled her hands away. "Yeah, I am."

Walking to the door, James wanted to jump up and stop her but he knew her mind was made up. As she grabbed onto the door knob, James stopped her. "Emily!" She looked back at him and she waited. "Will i ever see you again?"

She smiled. "Maybe. I don't know." She shrugged. "I'll be closer than you think."

James looked down for about thirty seconds but when she looked up the door was being closed and she was walking out of the hallway. Out of the hospital and out of the town. Out of his life.

This chapter of his life was over and he knew that in a few months maybe a few years, he could thank her. He wasn't sure if right now he could handle her leaving he deep down, way deep down, he could handle it.

He could possibly handle life on his own.

Because this is what life is about.

No one will always be here to rescue you.

Sometimes people do rescue you, they help you through so much, but not everything stays that way for awhile.

People change.

Love changes.

Life changes along with it too.

Emily made her way along town saying goodbye to only a few people. She said goodbye to her parents, a few close friends and Carlos. Carlos took it the worst. All he did was cry and beg for her to stay. it brought her to tears. but she knew that outside of the little town in Chicago they lived, there was more for her to explore. More oppurtunities and she knew that she would show Carlos and James that. Even Kendall who she only one encounter with. Even her brother, Logan who had been admitted to a rehab center for several issues. She knew they would make it. Her leaving town could be either the best thing for the both of them or the worst, but it all depended on their actions. She knew Logan would get better. She knew that Carlos would end up falling in love with someone amazing, James too. She knew that Kendall and his girlfriend would be happy together. Because life, is all what you make it. Carlos had Anna, aw, Emily smiled as she thought of that small little girl. Carlos loved her, more than anything and she knew that he would take care of her. She knew that Carlos was going to be the greatest big brother he could be. Because he was Carlos and Carlos had such a big heart.

Strolling along the side of the road, she slinked her only bagpack, full of clothes and essentials around her shoulder. On the phone with her mother, she let out all of her plans and ideas for where she was going to stay and be safe. With an old time friend? You could never knew with her.

Closing her phone, she took a deep breath.

**_It was her turn to be rescued._**

* * *

This may or may not be the ending. All depending on your feedback. Let me know, give me ideas, and maybe i'll continue this. Or maybe the next chapter will be the epilogue.


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